Desperate Housewives
The Sun Won't Set

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The Sun Won't Set

Sophie is wearing gigantic curlers and futzing with place-settings when in walks Susan with a plastic-wrapped dress over her arm. Sophie asks if Susan's still going to be her matron of honor, and Susan says, "Of course I am." Susan admits that she's still "a little freaked out," but says she did "a lot of thinking," and she now understands that Sophie just wanted to protect Susan with her lies about Susan's father: "And you thought I needed a hero. But I had one: You." Gag! The two idiots hug warmly, and Sophie tearfully confesses that she was always so worried she was going to screw Susan up. Susan: "Well, I am screwed up, but it wasn't your fault...entirely."

Meanwhile, Lynette's at work. She sneakily sneaks up to Receptionist Stu and asks him if he's busy. Stu: "No...just updating my blog." Isn't it sad how attempts to seem au-courant, such as this "blog" reference, actually make a show seem totally dated, like what, did my parents write this? Lynette tells Stu that she has an important assignment for him. Stu (who, incidentally, looks a whole like Jim Carrey...and the world hardly has room for even one Jim Carrey): "Great! I'm really ready to take on more responsibility around here!" Note to Stu: maybe announcing that you're updating your blog to someone ranked well above you at work isn't the best way to prove your worthiness for more responsibility? That is all. In any case, Lynette doesn't really need help with work; she just wants Stu to help her with a little matter concerning her husband. So not only is Lynette willing to go to any length to prove a point, but she's also one of those horrible people who make underlings do personal chores? Blech. At the very least, she could have pretended it was a "very personal favor." But no. (Twelve minus points to Lynette!) Stu, craftily: "Ahh, you want to make [your husband] jealous!" Lynette wrinkles her nose and clarifies that, actually, she wants Stue to kidnap her children, and she hands him a whole bunch of candy bars to use as bait.

Cut to the P-twins battling with a sword and a hockey stick out in front of the house. Tom and Lynette are watching from the window, Tom asking what, exactly, it is that he's supposed to be looking for, when Stu pulls up in his car. Stu rolls down his window and offer to take the boys for a ride. Tom to Lynette: "Is he abducting our kids?" Lynette: "Maybe." Tom: "This is crazy!" Lynette: "Why, are you worried they might get in?" P1 tells Stu they're not allowed to talk to strangers, but then Stu tells them if they get in the car, he'll give them some candy, and the twins come a-running. Tom: "Why aren't they running away?" Lynette shakes her head, looking smug. Tom: "This is not the time to be smug; clearly, our kids are idiots." But wait, what's this? Here comes Mrs. McCluskey, knocking on Stu's window. Friendly Stu rolls down his window, and McCluskey tasers the living spit out of him. The boys go running, and Stu goes to get out of the car, but McCluskey tases him again. He falls to the ground, and McCluskey just keeps tasing and tasing him. She even goes so far as to hold him down, which I'm told is a no-no in the tasing world (touching your taser victim is a good way to get jolted yourself). The scene ends as Lynette and Tom run out to try and save Stu. That Lynette! How many rats and receptionists have to suffer before she learns?

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Desperate Housewives

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