Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
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Our Little Secret

Hot Handyman shows up at Bree's late for their date, but he has tickets to the Black Eyed Peas, so he's sure she'll understand. She's like, "I live to rock." Then Danielle and Benjamin show up to visit. Bree introduces them without using the word "grandson." Benjamin gives Bree slippers for her bad circulation, and Bree asks him to stop calling her "Grandma." Hot Handyman says there's nothing more important than family, and they can go out another time. When he leaves, Danielle says that Bree's friend, Renee, must have been wrong, since Bree's bouncing back just fine. Danielle says she wishes she had a friend who'd send first-class tickets to cheer her up, but Bree tells her to trust her: She doesn't want a friend like Renee.

Susan is stuck in traffic when she sees a vavabroom.com billboard going up. Then she notices it's her and freaks out. She drives over and jumps up on the billboard to keep her face from going up. She says she's protecting her dignity then falls. Why is she so annoying? Back on Wisteria, Paul finds Mrs. McCluskey on her porch and offers, threateningly, to buy her house. He thought she might want to unload it before she loses her mind. She essentially tells him to get the F off of her porch. He tells her to be careful on the stairs. At Lynette's, Paige is screaming until Lynette gives her to Penny. Lynette's going for a jog, but Penny says she can't be late for the bus today. Lynette promises not to be late, but after her jog, Bree catches up with her and really needs to talk. Over coffee, Lynette says flying Danielle and Benjamin here first class is "vintage Renee." Bree says her voracious libido and unlimited funds are a deadly combination. And now Renee's going on a date with Hot Handyman, who called to ask permission, but Bree couldn't say no. Lynette tells Bree to fight back somehow, so Bree asks what she can do to humiliate her. Lynette comes up with Renee's fear of little people, and then heads home. When she gets there, Penny's gone and there's just a note that says she had to go to school. Lynette wonders where the baby is, so we cut to the bus, where Penny's telling everyone to stop breathing on her sister.

Lynette shows up at the school and gets condescending looks from the people at the front office, who send her to the principal's office. She gets just as much condescension there, from Principal Harris. She has eight children of her own, so she's not hearing Lynette's excuses about being tired and busy. Then the principal tells Lynette that Penny's helping her out more than she realizes: She told Principal Harris she takes the baby monitor to bed so she can get up for the feedings. As a result, she's so exhausted she's falling asleep in class. Lynette says she'll talk to Penny and will fix this. She asks who among them is a perfect mother, and Principal Harris shows her her "World's Perfect Mom" cup.

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Desperate Housewives

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