Bree is pouring all her wine down the drain when Andrew walks in and asks her what she's doing. She informs him that she's preparing for the hearing Andrew's lawyer has informed her is scheduled to happen four weeks hence. Andrew: "Oh, I get it! So you're going to pretend to be sober for the judge?" Bree cheerfully denies that there will be any pretending going on. In fact, she's going to her "first AA meeting tomorrow night." She grabs two more bottles from the fridge. Both bottles are already open: the lead foil has been removed, and the corks are sitting high, so clearly they've been pulled and reinserted. Wow, so that's how serious a drinker Bree is: she comes home from the wine merchant store, lines up her dozen bottles for the week(end?), opens them up, one by one, with one of those ultra-fancy Lever Style Rabbit Corkscrews, and then gently replaces the corks so they're ultra-easy to open. That way, when the juices really start to flow, she won't be delayed one second when she makes that transition from Bottle 2 to Bottle 3. Bree: "Of course, I picked [an AA meeting] in the worst part of town so I won't run in to anyone we know, which of course means I will." Hey, there's the Bree I remember! Andrew asks what "that's going to prove." And Bree wheels around, her auburn flip flying, and lays this right on him: "Perception is reality, Andrew. And if people perceive me to have a drinking problem, then I do. And I certainly don't want some idiotic judge using my hobby as an excuse to make you rich. So I'm simply going to give up my wine and become a recovering alcoholic." Andrew, sounding less sure, tells her it'll never work -- that she's certainly going to show up in court all drunk. "Oh, Andrew," Bree chides chillingly, "you don't think I love you enough to give up alcohol?"
Andrew tries to reason with Bree, pointing out that, since he's seventeen, she can really only keep him at home for another year: "Why not just let me go?" Bree: "Because I'm not done with you yet. It's my job to teach you, and you are not half the man I know you can be." Yikes. Andrew: "I've got news for you: this is as good as I'm going to get." And I tend to agree with him there. Bree: "If I really thought that, I'd get a gun and kill us both." But...Bree already has a gun? Maybe now's not the best time to remind her, though, because she really does seem ready to do almost anything in this scene. Andrew, desperate now: "Mom. We're both so unhappy. Why not just let me take my trust fund, and I'll get out of your hair forever. Please." But Bree shakes her head no, no, one thousand times no. Disgusted, Andrew turns away and tells her, "You're a stone-cold bitch, you know that?" He starts walking toward the door, and we see Bree's mouth thin in rage, and then she HURLS a full bottle of wine just to Andrew's left, and it shatters against the refrigerator. Yeah, that's a really great child-rearing environment she's got cooking there. She walks up to him, and with menacing politeness, she says, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that." Andrew huffs and puffs, and then delivers the inevitable "I hate you!" Then Bree unfurls that gem about how the "opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference." (The first time I saw this scene, I voiced the word "indifference" right along with her, so inevitable was it.) Anyway, blah blah blah, Bree wraps it up by declaring that she believes that she and Andrew are "still connected," and that she still "has a chance to set [Andrew] right." Meanwhile, Andrew clearly thinks she's still totally batsnanas. Andrew delivers one last searing glare. Then he turns and walks out, and Bree immediately starts sweeping up the broken glass.













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