Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B+ | 1098 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
There Is No Other Way

Cut to a frantic and pacing Mike, on the phone with Noah. Mike: "If anything happens to Paul Young --" Noah, interrupting: "It already happened." Eerie "van assassination" music swells! Mike starts screaming that Noah's really done it this time -- that once Zana finds out what Noah did, he's never ever going to feel grandpa love for Noah: "And believe me, I'll make sure he finds out." Mike hangs up and gets out his gun. Yeah!

At the Scavo dinner table, the Ps are in full force. Lynette apologizes about the burnt meatloaf, and a clearly still-sulky Tom agrees that she didn't exactly "give it 100\%." You see that? How he used a direct quote from her criticism of his Eskimo pitch? That's sticking it to her! Tom does some pontificating about how the meatloaf demonstrates the truth of how nobody can do everything perfectly all the time. Lynette counters that there's a difference between meatloaf and business. Tom: "You mean the client deserves more effort than your own family?" Lynette takes a big breath and then apologizes for criticizing Tom at work, which is really rather game and also an unexpected tack for Lynette to take. Anyway, I sure do like meatloaf.

It's nighttime on Wisteria Lane, and Andrew and Justin are outside somewhere dark and out of the way. What's this, Andrew's slipping a ring on Justin's finger? Wait, does this mean they're BFBF4EVER? For a second, it seems like that's what this scene is shaping up to be: true romance. But then Justin winds up and takes a huge swing at Andrew. Crack! What the...? Andrew, after taking a second to recover: "All right, one more time." Justin, flabbergasted: "Dude, I don't want to mess up your face!" Andrew: "Do you love me?" Justin nods. Aw, Justin loves evil Andrew! So lovestruck Justin takes another huge swing. Hmm. Either Andrew is exploring Aerosmith's thin line between pleasure and pain, or he's taking a page from Dirty Harry's Scorpio Killer and manufacturing some bruises -- the kind of bruises that get drunk, slap-happy moms into trouble.

Back at the house of bruised egos: Tom and Lynette are heading for a sex-down. They do some frisking and frolicking, but somehow Lynette keeps winding up on top. And for some reason, this bothers Tom. (Huh?!) Tom: "You can't give it up for a second, can you? You always have to call the shots, always!" Lynette: "Is this about me being your boss again? You gotta get over it." Tom does some more frantic accusing of how Lynette's "not just [his] boss at work, [she's his] boss everywhere," she "runs the show," et cetera. Even though Tom totally brought this on himself by insisting on taking job at Lynette's company. Wow, Lynette is totally the sane one in this conversation, and Tom is the neurotic one who painted his own self into a corner! It's like...Opposite Day! Lynette: "I am so sorry you feel that way, but you can not put that on me. This is your life. You want to run it, then step on up. You want to drive? Grab the steering wheel. What else am I supposed to say?" See? Lynette is being absolutely reasonable. Weird. But Tom doesn't see it that way. He sulkily says that he's going to "go check on the kids," and leaves. Whatever.

Desperate Housewives

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