Desperate Housewives
There Is No Other Way

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There Is No Other Way

In the meeting, the Lady Agent is reviewing the Solis's portfolio, and she seems very impressed by all the photos of the Scavo kids. But then she asks what their names are, and Gabby's face falls. And I'm reminded of the time I tried to buy beer while still underage, and I had memorized the birthday and date on my fake ID, and even knew my fictitious astrological sign (Aries), but the checkout woman at Alpha Beta didn't ask me for any of that. She just said, "What school do you go to?" And without hesitating, I cheerfully volunteered, "Tam High!" And...bye, bye beer. Gabby makes a valiant effort to name the Ps. She gets "Parker" and "Porter," but then she hits empty, so she finishes off with a lame, "Well, they're all Ps. It's super-cute."

Just then, Helen enters the room, and an awesome "busted!" look crosses both Gabby and Carlos's faces. Helen, with menace and wrath, tells Gabby, "I didn't know you were adopting." Gabby stares at Helen for a second, and then a light bulb goes off and she turns to the Lady Agent and says, "Preston! The other one's name is Preston!" Carlos weakly small-talks to Helen that he wasn't aware that she worked there, and then Lady Agent pipes up that she didn't know they all knew each other, and they do some "small world" chatting, and then Helen launches her attack: "Mrs. Solis hired my son to do her yard work. And also she would RAPE him." Haha! It's not too often that "rape" is the key to a hilarious zinger, and for this, I celebrate. Gabby: "First of all, it was statutory, and it happened so long ago." Carlos closes his eyes and looks pretty much like he's going to yak. And the Lady Agent looks like she just received an unexpected and also unwelcome spanking. Helen: "Was it? I think it was only about a year ago. It was a year, because it was right before your husband went to prison on slave-labor charges." Carlos looks even more shattered. You mean he didn't think they'd do a background check on them? That's pretty much unbelievable. Also: it now occurs to me that whatever law agencies rescued Xiao Mei the Money from her previous slave-labor situation probably wouldn't be too thrilled with her immediately reporting to the Solis house for work? Helen takes the Solis file off the shocked Lady Agent's desk and informs her that she'll take over from here. And then she informs Gabby not even to try another agency, because she's going to make sure they "know all about [her]." Looks like they spent all that quality time with the P kids for nothing!

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Desperate Housewives

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