Desperate Housewives
There Is No Other Way

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There Is No Other Way

Andrew tries to reason with Bree, pointing out that, since he's seventeen, she can really only keep him at home for another year: "Why not just let me go?" Bree: "Because I'm not done with you yet. It's my job to teach you, and you are not half the man I know you can be." Yikes. Andrew: "I've got news for you: this is as good as I'm going to get." And I tend to agree with him there. Bree: "If I really thought that, I'd get a gun and kill us both." But...Bree already has a gun? Maybe now's not the best time to remind her, though, because she really does seem ready to do almost anything in this scene. Andrew, desperate now: "Mom. We're both so unhappy. Why not just let me take my trust fund, and I'll get out of your hair forever. Please." But Bree shakes her head no, no, one thousand times no. Disgusted, Andrew turns away and tells her, "You're a stone-cold bitch, you know that?" He starts walking toward the door, and we see Bree's mouth thin in rage, and then she HURLS a full bottle of wine just to Andrew's left, and it shatters against the refrigerator. Yeah, that's a really great child-rearing environment she's got cooking there. She walks up to him, and with menacing politeness, she says, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that." Andrew huffs and puffs, and then delivers the inevitable "I hate you!" Then Bree unfurls that gem about how the "opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference." (The first time I saw this scene, I voiced the word "indifference" right along with her, so inevitable was it.) Anyway, blah blah blah, Bree wraps it up by declaring that she believes that she and Andrew are "still connected," and that she still "has a chance to set [Andrew] right." Meanwhile, Andrew clearly thinks she's still totally batsnanas. Andrew delivers one last searing glare. Then he turns and walks out, and Bree immediately starts sweeping up the broken glass.

And it's MAVO TIME! "This is how Bree Van de Kamp finally came to change her weekly routine. She still cleaned on Tuesdays, paid her bills on Wednesdays, and did her laundry on Thursdays. But her Fridays were now reserved for a meeting -- a special meeting where she stood in front of people that she didn't know..." Bree, wearing a London Fog trench and an awesome turquoise and gold silk neck scarf, stands up in front of a circle of people sitting in chairs and declares that her name is Bree, and she's an alcoholic. MAVO continues: "...and said things she didn't believe. And afterward, Bree would come home and reward herself on the completion of another successful week." At home, Bree pulls a bottle of wine out from behind some boxes in the...laundry room? She pours out a healthy swig, and then she gulps it down using two hands, like she's finally found water after wandering the desert for many, many days. Oh Bree.

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Desperate Housewives

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