Desperate Housewives
There Is No Other Way

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There Is No Other Way

As CreePaul leaves, a cab pulls up next door, and out pops Felicia. (You remember Felicia: Noah's new nurse, Mrs. Huber's sister, and the woman Zana beat with a hockey stick so badly that she had to be hospitalized?) Felicia watches CreePaul get carted away with a feverish gleam in her eye.

Down at the station: CreePaul, it appears, is now under arrest, news that he finds highly confusing: weren't they going to just ask him a few simple questions? Sullied: "That's after you're booked." But, as the desk sergeant informs Sullied, CreePaul can't get booked at that station: "The computers are down, and we're all full up." Convenient? Detective Sullied smiles and slaps a pair of cuffs on CreePaul, who's busy squawking about phone calls and lawyers and other civil rights.

Down in the parking garage, an anonymous uniformed policeman guides a still-protesting CreePaul into the back of a police van. MAVO: "Yes, in the world of investments, my husband had a remarkable ability to see the future." CreePaul notices that he's not alone in the van: there are two orange-suited thugs sitting across from him. "I got a message for you, Paul Young," one of them says in an...Irish accent? "Deirdre's father said to give you his regards." No...maybe that accent's hardcore California? Well, whether he's from Long Beach or Dublin, he's clearly fixing to lay some serious hurt on CreePaul, what with the huge knife he's now brandishing. Outside, we see the van start a-rocking -- and not, I'm guessing, in a sexy way. Over the yelling and screaming, MAVO finishes off her story with disquieting cheer: "Sadly, Paul didn't see this one coming at all." Wow, what is the deal with dead Mary Alice? She sounds overjoyed to be narrating the bloody downfall of her husband. It almost makes you think that maybe she's not CreePaul's biggest fan? Except that she's uniformly overjoyed by every single event she narrates. Maybe that bullet she put in her head lobotomized her moments before death? Or maybe the afterlife is just a very, very joyful place.

MAVO: "Bree Van de Kamp had a routine she'd been following for years." Bree "The Body" Van de Kamp, looking fresh and confident in pearls and a pink cashmere sweater, strides confidently through her house and crosses another day off the calendar. MAVO (in time with a montage of all Bree's chores): "She cleaned on Tuesdays, she paid her bills on Wednesdays, she did her laundry on Thursdays. And after the daily chores were completed, she would reward herself with a little drink." Wow, so Bree's drinking has been going on for years? I somehow thought the drinking was a byproduct of Bree's tuff, tuff year. Interesting! ["Also, Bree only does laundry once a week? I do it every day! I refuse to believe I'm less of a lazy bitch than Bree." -- Wing Chun] MAVO: "What Bree didn't know was [that] this latest edition to her daily routine had been noticed by her friends." Oh, okay: the drinking has only been incorporated into the routine just lately. Got it! Through the filmy gauze of her front curtain, Bree spies Lynette, Susan, and Gabby gossiping out on the sidewalk across the street.

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Desperate Housewives

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