The hospitalized Mrs. McC awakens to a cloud of smoke being intentionally blown into her face by her sister, Roberta, who's played by Lily Tomlin. Roberta is wearing black leather, a leopard print top and one of those hats bikers have been wearing since The Wild One. She smokes in hospitals, has bourbon in her coffee and seems to generally be a bad-ass, judging by the fact that she immediately volunteers to "clean [Dave's] clock" and reminds her sister that the last guy Karen thought was dangerous, that biker in Florida, now has to puree all his food. "That was a fun vacation," Karen reminisces. She tells Roberta that she wants Dave to think she's out of commission, and asks her if she still works at that cell phone company, Teleshore, which Dave coincidentally subscribes to. Karen reading other people's mail reminds Roberta of their mom, and Mrs. McCluskey and her sister (and their mom) are now my favorite characters in all of modern fiction, a position sealed after we find out Roberta snuck Karen a beer. Roberta agrees to pull Dave's phone records at her job. After all, she doesn't care, she doesn't have to -- she's the phone company.
Susan stops by Jackson's with a container of hot wings -- man, she knows how to win a guy over -- and enters the apartment to hear him (okay, someone) in the shower. She instantly strips down, checks herself in the mirror, and yanks open the shower curtain like a naked Norman Bates, which is a sure way to both give and receive a heck of a surprise. Unfortunately, it's not Jackson in the shower, but Janet Leigh, or rather someone who does a damn good Janet Leigh impression before squirting shampoo into Susan's eyes. Susan was already screaming, but she screams even louder once the shampoo (which is not Johnson & Johnson's No Tears baby formula) hits her retinas, and flails about like a madwoman, striking Janet Leigh through the now-closed shower curtain and knocking the poor woman unconscious. Susan ponders how many states away she should be when Janet comes to.
After the commercials, Susan is dressed once again in her see-through shirt, and Janet -- excuse me, Darcy -- is wearing a robe and holding an icepack to her head. Susan calls herself Jackson's girlfriend, and Darcy says he never mentioned a girlfriend when he picked her up at the club that night. Susan points out that guys usually don't mention their girlfriend when they're trolling for sluts, and Jackson shows up with pizza just in time to avert a throwdown. He asks why Susan's there, and she says she wanted to talk about their future, which Jackson was under the impression they didn't have. She pretty much agrees with him, and leaves, taking the hot wings. Too bad -- they would have gone well with the pizza.