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Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card

Evany: B+ | 845 USERS: B-

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They Asked Me Why I Believe In You

By Evany | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2005.10.23

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Susan's book agent, Lonny Moon (played by the glorious Wallace Shawn), confesses that he's been fired for "moving money around" (i.e., embezzlement). Susan is inclined to keep letting Lonny rep her, what with all the nice things he's done for her over the years (he drove her to the hospital to deliver Julie, he took her on vacation when Karl left, etc.), but Mike thinks Susan can't and shouldn't trust Lonny. Mike's theories about "trust" and "violating trust" and "not trusting someone ever again" get Susan thinking that Mike might not forgive her for sending Zana away to Utah without telling Mike. (Also: Zana's trip to Utah is especially sad since CreePaul, the object of Zana's wild goose chase, is actually back in Fairview, as we see for one split second at the end of the episode.) Susan seeks Julie's advice (of course), and Julie tells Susan that she has to tell Mike, or not tell him, or, you know, be an adult and figure out what to do on her own. Lynette makes the mistake of bringing Bossy Boobs to a bar, where: Bossy meets a man. Said man participates in some sex with Bossy; Bossy really seems to like the sex, prompting Bossy to force Lynette to be her non-threatening married wing-woman night after night after night. Lynette ends this vicious cycle by transforming herself from "non-threatening married wing-woman" to "sexy dancing-on-the-bar sexy party-girl sexy, sexy, SEXY," effectively fixing Bossy Boobs's wagon. We see on the news that someone's been arrested for a murder in Chicago, which freaks Betty out because the man in the basement -- who we discover is actually Betty's somewhat "slow" son Caleb -- is the real murderer. Bree finds out about Rex's "I forgive you" note and is fundamentally enraged that he could believe she'd do such a thing. So, out of spite, she...reburies Rex in a non-Van de Kamp plot! Carlos gets a glimpse of handsome Lawyer Bradley and decides on the spot that he does not want such good-looking representation anywhere near his wife. Gabby pleads with Lawyer Bradley to come up with some way of convincing Carlos, and Lawyer Bradley hits upon the genius scheme of telling Carlos that the only way the handsome LB won't sleep with Gabby is if Carlos hires him as a lawyer. And Carlos is all: you're hired!

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previouslies: the police exhumed Rex's body, Gabrielle lined Carlos up with the Lecherous Lawyer Bradley, Susan sent Zana to Utah, there's someone living in the Applewrongs' basement (remember that storyline?), and Mike left Paul in the desert.

It's an ad, ad world at Lynette's place of employ. Lynette and her team of crack creatives are pitching a poster for Kamarov Vodka to Bossy Boobs. The headline reads "A RUSSIAN CLASSIC..." and the zinger is "DISTILLED THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY." The girl holding the poster looks all of seventeen years old, and she has a completely star-struck baby deer look on her face that makes me think that maybe she won some kind of "Housewife for a Day" walk-on contest. MAVO: "Since her first day on the job, it had been clear to Lynette Scavo that her new boss, Nina, was unusually...tense." Bossy Boobs sits on the edge of her desk, and the camera pans down to reveal that she's white-knuckling a pencil, which snaps right in two. MAVO: "To help relieve [Bossy's] tension, Lynette tried giving her boss thoughtful gifts: a soothing wave machine..." In flashback, Lynette walks into Bossy's office with said soothing wave machine, which she's topped with a big, red bow. Bossy, who appears to be suffering from some kind of horrible neck pain, shoots Lynette a "what the hell...?" look. MAVO: "...aromatherapy candles..." Lynette gives Bossy a plastic-wrapped basket full of fake flowers, bows, and like six different kinds of candles -- something about the arrangement smacks of the bizarre Ross Dress For Less food, gift, and scary doodad section (I hope Lynette remembered to hack off the un-peel-off-able RDFL price sticker). Bossy, who is sitting at her desk and massaging her mastoid processes in a way that marks her as a chronic TMJ-sufferer, gives Lynette a zombie stare. MAVO: "...even meditative chi balls." Lynette deposits a pair of tinkling, fairy-bell balls all covered in yings and yangs onto Bossy's desk. These balls are either the kind that people rotate in one hand to promote relaxation, or they're the kind that's used to improve the muscle tone of the vaginal walls. Bossy gives Lynette a startled look. (Ben Wa balls, methinks!) MAVO: "But nothing seemed to ease Nina's tension."