Desperate Housewives
They Asked Me Why I Believe In You

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Evany: B | Grade It Now!
They Asked Me Why I Believe In You

Previouslies: the police exhumed Rex's body, Gabrielle lined Carlos up with the Lecherous Lawyer Bradley, Susan sent Zana to Utah, there's someone living in the Applewrongs' basement (remember that storyline?), and Mike left Paul in the desert.

It's an ad, ad world at Lynette's place of employ. Lynette and her team of crack creatives are pitching a poster for Kamarov Vodka to Bossy Boobs. The headline reads "A RUSSIAN CLASSIC..." and the zinger is "DISTILLED THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY." The girl holding the poster looks all of seventeen years old, and she has a completely star-struck baby deer look on her face that makes me think that maybe she won some kind of "Housewife for a Day" walk-on contest. MAVO: "Since her first day on the job, it had been clear to Lynette Scavo that her new boss, Nina, was unusually...tense." Bossy Boobs sits on the edge of her desk, and the camera pans down to reveal that she's white-knuckling a pencil, which snaps right in two. MAVO: "To help relieve [Bossy's] tension, Lynette tried giving her boss thoughtful gifts: a soothing wave machine..." In flashback, Lynette walks into Bossy's office with said soothing wave machine, which she's topped with a big, red bow. Bossy, who appears to be suffering from some kind of horrible neck pain, shoots Lynette a "what the hell...?" look. MAVO: "...aromatherapy candles..." Lynette gives Bossy a plastic-wrapped basket full of fake flowers, bows, and like six different kinds of candles -- something about the arrangement smacks of the bizarre Ross Dress For Less food, gift, and scary doodad section (I hope Lynette remembered to hack off the un-peel-off-able RDFL price sticker). Bossy, who is sitting at her desk and massaging her mastoid processes in a way that marks her as a chronic TMJ-sufferer, gives Lynette a zombie stare. MAVO: "...even meditative chi balls." Lynette deposits a pair of tinkling, fairy-bell balls all covered in yings and yangs onto Bossy's desk. These balls are either the kind that people rotate in one hand to promote relaxation, or they're the kind that's used to improve the muscle tone of the vaginal walls. Bossy gives Lynette a startled look. (Ben Wa balls, methinks!) MAVO: "But nothing seemed to ease Nina's tension."

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Desperate Housewives




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