Desperate Housewives
They Asked Me Why I Believe In You

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They Asked Me Why I Believe In You

And then lo! Who's this? Detective Barton, who just so hapcidentally finds himself at the morgue. Bree holds her hand out to the detective and tells him warmly, "I want to thank you, again, for what you did. It was so refreshing to be treated with kindness after weeks of ludicrous accusations." Poor Bree. She's just walking into this. Detective Barton waspishly points out that "the doctor doesn't think they're ludicrous." Bree responds in a still-warm, conspiratorial tone that of course the doctor would want to blame someone else, what with Rex dying in his care. The detective mutters something about tests. Bree: "Oh, please don't talk to me about tests. Rex was not poisoned, and no one I know believes that he was!" Detective Barton: "Rex did." Bree is totally confused, so Barton shows her Rex's note, which is sealed in an evidence bag. There was some speculation on the boards that this wasn't the original note because it wasn't signed by Rex, but I went and checked the Season 1 finale, and this looks like the exact same note: Rex never did sign it.

Bree is absolutely devastated by the note, and she staggers over to a bench and sits down. The detective sits down next to her, and in a hushed, confession-encouraging tone, he tells her, "You know what I think? Rex felt guilty for the way he treated you: the adultery, the public humiliations. That's why he forgave you: he understood why you did it." Bree: "How could he have believed this?" Detective Barton: "Look, my wife cheated on me, too. I know how much it hurts, and so will a judge. Everyone understands crimes of passion. But every day that you stonewall makes you look like a cold, calculating killer. We both know that's not you. But I can't help you unless you start telling the truth." Bree, who looks as though she was barely listening to him throughout his whole spiel, suddenly gets a look of great determination on her face. The Desperate Housewives "over my dead body" violins start to play. Bree tells Barton sweetly that she has to go; she has some "things to take care of." The detective looks shocked that Bree didn't crack under his well-practiced interrogation techniques, even after he lulled Bree with the whole "feel free to take the body" set-up. Bree goes to push the gurney, but the brake is on. Panicking now, Detective Barton scuttles over to her. "Bree!" he screeches. "It is obvious your husband loved you very much. Don't you think you owe it to him to admit the truth?" Bree: "Detective, I know exactly what my husband deserves. Now would you be a dear?" She points pointedly at the jammed brake. Reluctantly, he loosens the wheel, and Bree and the body march right on out of there. Which seems semi-weird, since I'm pretty sure regular civilians aren't allowed to walk off with bodies. But still: good exit, good exit.

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Desperate Housewives

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