Desperate Housewives
They Asked Me Why I Believe In You

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They Asked Me Why I Believe In You

Gabby, whose midriff still reveals not even a hint of looming baby, apparently has managed to locate some kind of sonographic evidence of said fetus, which she shows to Carlos during visiting hours at the jail. They are arguing over what's what in the photo, the baby's head looks like a foot, etc. Gabby: "Well that settles it: when this baby's born, I'll be in charge of putting on the socks." Carlos chuckles, and tells her that she's glowing -- that pregnancy really agrees with her. Gabby: "Oh yeah? Well, if you don't mind the hemorrhoids and the nausea, it's quite the party." Gabby has hemorrhoids? I know this is fantastically ignorant of me, but somehow Gabby seems too small a person for hemorrhoids, like...where would she put them? There just doesn't seem enough square footage for such an ailment to grow. Also, should I be worried that I spelled "hemorrhoids" correctly on the very first try? Gabby's hilarious hemorrhoids also make Carlos chuckle. Carlos is very giggly in this scene. Gabby looks at her watch, saying she doesn't know what's keeping the Lecherous Lawyer Bradley, whom Carlos, by the way, is going to love, since he's quite the "shark" and hasn't lost a case in six years, plus he engineered Carlos and Gabby's miraculous conjugal visit. Carlos says he's a fan already, and kisses Gabby's hand. Just then, in walks the LLB. Carlos takes one look at him, and then looks at Gabby, who is gazing adoringly up at the lawyer, and then Carlos sees the LLB's hand, which is comfortably resting on Gabby's shoulder, and suddenly Carlos is smiling no longer. Carlos: "I don't think so." Gabby is all, what the hell? Carlos just says that he doesn't want this guy to be his lawyer, and tells Gabby to find a new one. Gabby is miffed! Also, her peach satin halter is riding very strangely, with her breasts a full three inches south of the triangles of fabric that are supposed to be cupping them.

Bree, flanked by her own very young turk of a lawyer, is down at police headquarters. The lawyer is yelling that the police haven't filed a single charge, and that they need either to "determine a homicide" or to hand over Rex's body. There are two cops there: Detective Barton, who was there for Bree's lie detector test, and a new, cranky policeman. Cranky is yelling that they have a court order, which lets them hold on to the corpse as long as they need it. Bree: "He is not a corpse. He was a man named Rex Van de Kamp. He was a loving husband, devoted father, and a successful doctor. So successful, in fact, that he left me enough money to sue the city, this precinct, and you two gentlemen personally just for the fun of it." Hmmm. I would have thought a murder investigation would have put any money Bree had coming to her in limbo. I guess not? Cranky informs Bree that the police don't "respond well to threats." Clearly, Cranky is all geared up for many rounds with Bree, but Detective Barton jumps in and tells Cranky to release the body. This throws Cranky for a loop, but Barton explains that the evidence they have is "minimal at best," and considering that Bree was "gracious enough" to take a lie-detector test, it's the least they could do. Bree, looking smug, thanks Detective Barton and asks Cranky what's going to happen next. Cranky reluctantly tells her that they'll put Rex back right where they found him. Bree: "Yes and I'm sure you'll bury him with all the dignity of a dead hamster. No. I want Rex released to me, and I'll make all the arrangements." Bree's lawyer adds that they police will also be paying for all the reburial costs, to which Detective Barton also readily agrees. Bree: "Detective Barton, you are clearly a gentleman."

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Desperate Housewives

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