Danny and Nick have a bonding moment, in which Nick briefly considers telling him he's not his real dad. But he doesn't. We do learn Danny's getting a job at the coffee shop, though, which is where John Barrowman starts hanging out. He tells Danny he's writing a book, and gives Danny the exact plot of his own life, but Danny's too dense to get it, and suggests he kill the woman who took his kid. When that doesn't work, Danny agrees taking the kid is a good idea. Man, if only Nick had told him so he might have figured this out.
While that mystery is (sort of) still lingering out there, another one is revealed, thanks to Lynette's sleuthing -- but not into the stranglings or anything. No, this is all about her soon-to-be Russian daughter-in-law, Irina. When a Russian bridal saleswoman helps Lynette figure out that Irina's up to something fishy, Lynette finds a kindred spirit in Immigration who looks into Irina's past. Turns out she truly is a gold-digger (the question again is: Why Preston? I mean, sure, he has a trust fund or whatever, but can't she find anyone with more money?), who's been married previously (and still is) and cleaned out some poor guy's bank account. She speaks threateningly to Lynette about it, but Preston hears it all and sends her along. This leads to a heartfelt scene between Lynette and Preston, in which she tells him it's okay if he hates her, because it was worth it to keep him from ruining his life. Irina drags her suitcase down the street when Eddie picks her up. He tries to hit on her, and when it doesn't work, he pulls over, kills her, and buries her. I still don't get what he had against Julie, or the girl in the coffee shop, but hopefully we'll learn that.
Yet another mystery heats up when Sam continues to cause tension between Bree and Andrew, to the point that she fires him. When he learns that she forgives Andrew and this is their pattern, he ruins her important meal for cookbook publishers and blames it on Andrew. Orson tips Bree off that Andrew isn't clever enough to do something like that, and she pieces it together. I'm still not sure what Sam's up to, but, boy, does he seem sinister.
Gaby, meanwhile, offers her eggs to Bob and Lee, who are so excited and thankful, since women keep backing out. Poor Lee can't take it anymore. When Gaby realizes she can't be part of the baby's life, she gets Carlos to tell the guys he doesn't approve, and Bob says he's okay with it, but it's clear he's not. Especially since he and Lee broke up over it. Lee just couldn't take anymore, and Bob's committed to having a baby. When Carlos wasn't helping Gaby get out of hot water, he was doing the same for Mike, whose truck has been repossessed. Turns out he's in deep debt, so bad that Susan's money from Karl's strip club can't help him. But Carlos asks how much he needs, and it appears he's going to get him out of this. Gee, I wonder if Susan will find out.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why we'd never live in Fairview.
TWoP's been nominated for a Webby Award for Mobile Entertainment. Please cast a vote for us here. Vote early, vote often!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Gaby found out Lee and Bob want to adopt a baby. Mike was emasculated. Irina threatened Lynette and moved up the wedding. Girls were strangled. Orson and Andrew investigated Sam. And John Barrowman showed up to torment Wisteria Lane. Now: Mary Alice Voices Over that good neighbors help us with lots of stuff: car troubles, out of sugar, finding lost pets. [A turtle? How far did it get? - Zach] But they also show up and eavesdrop, as Gaby does outside Lee and Bob's window as they fight. Bob catches her, but she pretends not to know he's annoyed and follows him inside. Bob tells her their egg donor backed out, but Lee's too picky to just choose another. Bob doesn't want to lose the surrogate, too, but Lee says maybe they're not supposed to do this. Gaby hastily offers up her eggs. Bob and Lee hug her, as MAVO says, "Bad neighbors are people who make promises they can't possibly keep." Title card.
MAVO tells us about a missing girl in the morning paper. Tom reads it. So does Bree. And Angie. Then Carlos. But he quickly recycles it, as MAVO says no one really paid attention to this bit of news. "No one thinks about evil until it shows up on their doorstep, which it soon would." Someone's hands put the article into a scrapbook of "People I Killed." Okay, it doesn't say that, but it might as well. Cut to Susan, who has one type of evil showing up on her doorstep: a "thief!" Or at least that's what she runs outside accusing him of. He tries to calm her down, saying it's a repossession of Mike's truck, but she screams "fire," and the whole neighborhood comes running. Which is great for Mike, who admits he's four months behind and it is, indeed, a repossession. Hey, at least everyone knows. The best part is that Lee comes running with a fire extinguisher, in a bathrobe and towel, shouting, "Stop, drop and roll!" And Angie calls 9-1-1. Inside, Mike and Susan discuss his macho pride and unwillingness to take her money or her ex-husband's money, since she has the money from Karl's strip club. He tells her he'll figure out how to run a plumbing business without a truck. She rolls her eyes. [That is frickin' ridiculous. They're married. Do other married couples rigidly separate their finances like this? - Z]
Bree and Sam come into the office all happy and in-sync after a meeting with a publisher. Andrew calls them "the dynamic duo," which they mostly ignore and instead fill him in on Bree's new book idea: a nouvelle Southern cookbook, with a boring marketing catchphrase by Sam. Andrew quickly segues into Sam not actually having his MBA, which Sam admits readily, and explains he's still finishing it since he had to drop out to go be with his dying mother. He offers her death certificate to Andrew to save him the investigating. Even arrogant Andrew looks sheepish at that one. When Sam apologizes for misrepresenting himself, Bree says everyone crosses over the line sometimes, and then she glares at Andrew.
Television Without Pity • © 2013 Bravo Media LLC • A Division of NBCUniversal •
Comments