The Ladies get together to gossip about the Applewrongs at the traditional Wisteria Lane Blood Drive (where, incidentally, Zana discovers that he shares the very same rare blood type Mike has). Together, the Wisteria Women decide that Bree should ask her good friend Detective Barton (you remember, the one who thought she murdered Rex?) to do some Betty-and-Matthew snooping, so Bree invites him to lunch. Unfortunately, Barton gets the wrong idea about the invite, and when Bree informs him that the date isn't a Date, he gets grumpy, and then Bree gets tipsy. Driving home, vengeful Barton pulls Bree over for driving under the influence, and when she protests, he cuffs her, puts her in the slammer, and impounds her car. Later that night, Bree is finally free to leave, but she's too proud to call a friend for a ride home, so she decides to hoof it. Betty just happens to drive by, and stops to offer Bree a ride. When Bree's lies about automotive difficulties turn awkward (with Betty's repeated offers to call her auto club, et cetera), Bree blurts out what really happened. When Betty seems unwilling to believe that Bree's DUI was a fabrication (and really, Bree was pretty tipsy at lunch, so maybe the DUI was valid?), Bree lashes out at Betty and tells her that the whole neighborhood has been whispering about the Applewrongs. Bree stomps off into her house, and Betty immediately places an "I think I need to sell my house" call to Edie. Nude pictures of Gabby (property of a previous boyfriend) appear on the internet. Carlos the transformed good Catholic is reluctant to heed Gabby's wishes for him to go rough up the offending site owner. Instead, Carlos simply decides to chat reasonably with the man. And Gabby's ex turns out to be more than willing to pull down the images because, he confesses to Carlos, Gabby isn't really "internet hot" anyway. Carlos disagrees (he thinks Gabby's body is "perfect"), and he expresses this difference of opinion by throwing the man through a window. On an excruciating blind date, Susan conks her head and winds up in the hospital, where she develops a crush on a cute, young doctor. To secure a second visit with Dr. Young, Susan lies about her symptoms, and he spends a sleepless night trying to track down the cause of her mysterious ailments. When she confesses that she made it all up, he gets mad, and yet? He still wants to take her for sushi! When the Scavo kids get chicken pox, Mr. Mom Tom is girlishly afraid to go anywhere near them because he's worried he'll catch sick and wind up infertile. Lynette is puzzled by this phobia, seeing as she and Tom don't plan to have any more children. Tom explains that if Lynette ever dies, he'd like the option to start another family with someone new. Jealous of this fictitious future wife/life, Lynette demands that Tom get a vasectomy. Tom agrees, but then at the last second he balks. Being a househusband, he tells Lynette, is emasculating enough; snipping his parts would be the last straw. In short, the Scavo marriage is now, suddenly, on the rocks. Mike visits Noah (Deidre's dad), who's not looking well (i.e. he's dying). Mike tells Noah a fat lie about how Deidre's killer was, oh, just some low-life drug dealer, whom Mike has killed, per Noah's instructions/payments. Noah seems to believe Mike's story, and yet...what's this? His new nurse is the beloved Felicia Tillman! Methinks Mike's beans (about Deirdre's true killer) are about to be spilled!