MAVO: "Jim Halverson was aware that he had little to offer a woman: he was neither rich, nor smart, nor handsome." Jim (who is played by Greg Germann, better known as sleazy Richard Fish on Ally McBeal) is waiting at the bar in a nice-ish looking restaurant. "So when his friends set him up on a blind date with a beautiful stranger," Susan walks up to Jim, and he says, "Wow, you're so much hotter than Vicky said you'd be! So how old are you?" Smooth, very smooth. Also, who's Vicky? Susan has a friend named Vicky who sets her up on dates with terrible men? Who knew! Susan, flirtily: "How old do you think I am?" MAVO: "Jim made the tragic decision to try to be funny." Jim: "Not a day over fifty!" Jim laughs at his quip, but Susan doesn't join him, no, not at all. Icily, she suggests they head over to their table, and Jim makes matters worse by trying to explain that he was just kidding. Just, just kidding. Jim, trailing after Susan: "See, that was funny because you're so obviously not fifty, that's why I said 'fifty' because that's absurd..."
As the two dig into their dinners, MAVO takes us on a tour of Jim's conversational failures: "Jim did everything he could to get Susan Mayer to laugh. He tried racial humor." Jim: "So guess what time Chinese people go to the dentist?" Susan looks at him blankly. Jim: "Two-thirty." Susan makes a lame effort to smile. Jim: "Get it? Tooth hurty? Tooth hurty!" And the second "tooth hurty" he delivers in a "wacky Asian" voice. Susan squeezes out an anemic smile. (FYI and FWIW: Jokes on a first date -- I'm not talking "joking around," I mean actually reciting scripted jokes -- are a big red flag. Racist jokes? A deal-breaker.) MAVO: "He tried to be engagingly risqué." Jim: "Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!" Ah yes, that old saw. Susan raises her eyebrows a centimeter and then re-concentrates on her dinner. Jim: "Ahhhh...you know what a 'rectum' is, right?" Susan chokes on her food and then shoots him a "what the hell's wrong with you?" look. MAVO: "He even tried gentle teasing." Jim, clearly already deep into another terrible conversation mistake: "No, no. You see, by comparing you to a Nazi, I was making the point that you're so...not a Nazi." Susan is yet again under-thrilled. MAVO: "And just when Jim thought the date couldn't get any worse..." Jim accidentally tips over his napkin, which is still folded into a tent beside his plate (and not in his lap where it should be), and it falls to the floor. Susan reaches over to pick it up just as Jim does the very same thing. And...CRACK! They knock heads. Jim collapses unconscious to the floor, while Susan manages to stay upright, but she's holding her head, clearly in pain (and/or in colossal disappointment over the date itself). The MAVO continues: "...It did."