Oh, but wait! This next scene is pretty brutal, too. Ralph and Luis are out trimming the hedges in front of the Solis house. Carlos comes out to pick up the paper, and Gabby follows closely on his heels. She greets the gardeners, then she says hello to Carlos. Carlos points out that she's speaking to him again, and she contritely tells him that she thought about what he said, and he's totally right: the nude photos are her problem, not his, and she's going to have to learn how to live with it. Carlos smiles walks into the house. Gabby goes off to the side of the veranda, rolls out her yoga mat, takes off all her clothes, and gives the sun one peach of a salute. Carlos looks up and notices Gabby's birthday suit, and he yells through the window: "What the hell are you doing?" Gabby: "I'M LIVING WITH IT!" Carlos runs outside and snaps at the gardeners to turn around. He hands Gabby her top and commands her to get dressed. Gabby: "Why? You either care that men leer at me or you don't." Huh? This really is one of Gabby's more high-concept plans. As Carlos and Gabby bicker, Ralph and Luis creep closer and closer, their hedge-trimmers still powered up so it sounds like they're still working. Gabby tells Carlos that if he doesn't help her get her pictures back, then their neighbors are going to be seeing a "lot more" of Gabby. And with that, she walks over to where the gardeners are huddled. Gabby: "Ralph, Luis? Feast your eyes!" And indeed they do. But...whoops! Ralph leans in for a closer look and saws off Luis's finger. Wow, harsh toke, dude. (Seriously, though, this scene really bummed me out. The sound of the cut itself was particularly gross.) Luis screams and screams, Ralph scrambles around and tries to find Luis's finger, and Gabby and Carlos stand there, doing nothing. The worst!
Over at Coop de Chicken Pox, Lynette broods on the couch as Tom comes down the stairs. He's wearing a surgical mask and rubber gloves. Good news: Penny has stopped screaming when Tom comes into her room. Tom: "I think she's getting used to the mask!" But Lynette's mind is on another topic altogether: "I don't want you to have options, Tom. IF I die? I want your life to be over. I want you to spend the rest of your life screaming, 'It should have been me on that plane!'" Nice attitude, babe! Lynette: "I couldn't imagine my life without you. You are my everything!" Tom: "Honey, you're my everything!" Lynette thinks that's easy for Tom to say, but what she really needs is for him to show her, i.e. she wants him to get a vasectomy. Tom: "Can't I just get you some flowers?" Lynette lays out her argument: a) they don't plan to have any more kids, and b) the pill makes her "bloat." Huh. I think Lynette could have come up with way more compelling anti-pill arguments than just "bloat" here. Imagine how much more compelling she would have sounded if she'd told Tom that her many crazy bouts of jealousy and paranoia were all just side effects of the pill? Tom: "This is crazy." Lynette: "Oh, I know! I KNOW! But. It is what married people do. They go out of their way to calm each other's irrational fears. Come on, Tom, I really need you to do this!" Tom, looking sick, finally gives in and agrees to make an appointment with the penis snipper.