Betty and Bree pull up in front of Bree's house. Bree thanks Betty sincerely, and asks her if she wouldn't mind staying mum. Betty promises to keep quiet. Bree: "Well, that's good to hear, because most people on this street couldn't keep a secret if their lives depended on it." And yet, wasn't it just last week that we discovered Gabby's affair with John the Gardener had been somehow kept under wraps for months, up until the point when Bree herself spilled it to Lynette? Betty assures her that even if the secret did get out, it wouldn't be that big a deal. Betty: "Lots of people have DUIs." Bree: "Yes, but the difference is most of those people were actually drunk when they were arrested. I was not." Betty nods unconvincingly, and Bree accuses her of not believing the "Bree wasn't drunk" story. Betty explains that she knows Bree has gone through a lot lately (which is true), and that it would only be natural if Bree opted to "self-medicate." Bree, her face stony: "I'm sorry, since when do you know so much about my personal life?" Betty: "Bree! It's like you said! People on this street are not great at keeping secrets." Bree: "Except for you. You're really good at it." Betty begs her pardon. Bree proceeds to list all the secretive things Betty has done: "You moved into the house in the middle of the night, god knows what you moved in that you didn't want anybody to see. People hear sounds coming at all hours from there. And oh, what was the last one? Oh, right, they found a dead body in front of your home." Bree goes on to tell her that "everybody talks about the Applewhites," even though no one can figure out what Betty and Matthew are hiding. Bree: "So congratulations. Your secrets are safe. For now." And with that, Bree gets out of the car, her head held high, leaving a completely shell-shocked Betty in her wake. Wow, Bree sure is a bitch when she has a hangover!
The second Bree leaves, Betty tears into her purse, yanks out her cell, and dials up Edie. After apologizing for calling so late (and really, it looks like it's maybe 3 AM...which begs the question, what was Betty doing out at that time of night?), Betty tells Edie that she wants to put her house up for sale. And really, Edie ought to have no trouble: nothing attracts buyers like a built-in basement dungeon!