The next morning, over at Susan's House of Lies and Crushing Embarrassments, Dr. Young knocks on the door, and a bed-messed Susan opens the door wearing slippers and a cute kimono-style robe. Dr. Young tells her he needs to talk to her, and "it's not the kind of talk you can have over the phone." Susan: "Are you sure? 'Cause I would look a lot better over the phone right now." Dr. Young, with ominous nervousness, tells her that her test results came back. Oh my god, is Susan really sick? I knew it! Irony loves opportunity, and Susan could not have tempted fate more, lying like she did about having those symptoms! Except...no. It turns out that the real reason Dr. Young came over so very early in the morning was because her MRI came back clear of any troubling data, and he's been worrying and worrying about what else could have caused her symptoms. Wow, is it possible that he likes her? Because what other reason is there for a doctor to make a house call when he basically has zero news to report? Sigh. Finally Susan's guilt kicks in, and she confesses that she faked all her symptoms just to get more face time with the good doctor. Dr. Young is suitably irritated. Susan tries to explain: "I'm just not the best at meeting men, and I thought you were cute, and I sort of thought you thought I was cute. And you're a doctor, and that's sooo sexy..." Dr. Young, yelling now: "So I was up all night, worried sick, digging through medical books. Trying to find some mysterious disease that doesn't really exist?" Oh, the disease does exist, my little Dr. Young, and its name is "Susan Mayer." Selective-hearing Susan hones in on the "worried sick" sliver of Dr. Young's tirade, and her heart-cockles start to warm. "Really?" she asks. "You were up all night?" Dr. Young, still yelling: "Yes! I don't enjoy telling people I think they're going to die, especially people I like!" Susan: "YOU LIKE ME?" Oh Lord. Susan asks, "But what about your girlfriend?" But Dr. Young doesn't have a girlfriend. The woman who called during Susan's MRI was just someone he went on one date with, and she was calling to get a "referral to a dermatologist: she's got eczema!" Huh? What?
Dr. Young stomps out to his car, and Susan runs after him: "Maybe we could go out some time?" Wow, ballsy! And also? Needy! Dr. Young spins around, nostrils flared, and he sure does look like he's going let her have it. But no! Instead he asks, "Do you like sushi?" Psych! Susan, of course, loves sushi; in fact, she's available tomorrow night! Dr. Young: "No, no, no. Tomorrow's no good, I'll still be angry." Ha! But he "should be cooled down by Friday." Susan deems it a date! Before Mr. Young toots along, though, he informs Susan that her MRI did reveal one thing: she has a "wandering spleen." Clearly the playful Dr. Young is revenging himself upon Susan by feeding her a made-up ailment to worry about. But...wandering spleen? That's a little "eh." I think the doctor (by which I mean the writers) could have come up with something more compelling than that. But anyway, Susan and Dr. Young are ON. My diagnosis? Disaster!
Oh, yay, back to the Sucky Solises. Carlos and Gabby pull up in front of Scott the ePorndog's house, though there's an odd kind of ad-hoc parking lot out front, so maybe this is Scott's' office? Either way, the scene is very "L.A. depressing." Also, there's like a Gremlin or a Pacer parked out front. Gabby (who incidentally sounds as though she's braving her way through a cold in this scene) tells Carlos, "Go get 'im, tiger!" Carlos turns off the engine and sighs. He can't go through with it. Gabby: "You promised!" Carlos: "Ever since I got out of prison, I've been trying to lead a better life. For the first time, I can honestly say that I'm a good Catholic, and I don't want to ruin that." Yeah, a good Catholic who just last week tried to swing with married Lynette! Gabby brightly suggests that Carlos beat up Scott today, and then just go to "an extra-long mass tomorrow." Carlos: "It doesn't work that way." Finally we get to the crux of Gabby's complaint: "You used to go crazy when [men] would so much as look at me the wrong way, and that's when I had clothes on!" They bicker back and forth, Gabby with the "you just don't love me as much as you used to" and Carlos with the "why can't you let me be a good person." Blah blah blah McBlah. Finally Gabby gives up, and then Carlos feels bad (or something...I'm not entirely clear on his motivations here), so he decides to go inside and "talk" to Scott (not hurt him, just talk). Gabby stays in the car, sucking on a cough drop. So I guess she has a cold? Possibly because of all her nakedness lately? Huh. It's so weird what the writers choose to be subtle about on this show.