Desperate Housewives
We're Gonna Be All Right

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Evany: B | Grade It Now!
We're Gonna Be All Right

Noah, who is not looking at all well, is lying in a bed stacked high with pillows. A nurse is there beside him, and she's trying to reposition the IV on his inner elbow. She tears off the tape -- and again we hear the super-amplified sound of nuclear-strong tape (you don't know how long I labored to try and get "Brenda-Strong tape" to work here instead) being ripped off of flesh -- and Noah groans in pain. So this is a leitmotif, this "ripping off the Band-Aid" thing? Perhaps it's some kind of metaphor, a nudge-nudge about how certain characters need to stop dragging things out and just get the unpleasant, painful things in their lives over and done with? (I'm thinking too much, aren't I?) The camera pulls back to reveal Mike, sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed. Noah crankily asks him where he's been all this time, and Mike lies that he's been there every Sunday, Noah was just "too out of it" to notice. Noah: "I think you're lying. Then again these days I think everyone's been lying to me." But whatever, the only thing Noah really cares about is whether or not Mike found out who killed Deirdre. Mike looks at him intensely for a few seconds, and then he launches into this huge honker: "It was a guy named Todd Forest, a low-life drug dealer. He got [Deirdre] hooked again. She tried to steal from him and he killed her. And I killed him." Noah stares off into space for a few seconds, and then his face falls. Mike: "I thought hearing that would make you happy." Noah: "I thought it would too. But it doesn't." The nurse returns and tries to reinsert the needle into Noah's arms, and he cries out in rage/pain. She winces and apologizes, then explains that his "veins are kinda bad." Noah, with unexpected friendliness, offers to help her, but then -- holy crazy -- he takes the needle and jams it in her arm! The nurse screams that he's "crazy." Sounding bored, he informs her that she's fired and then tells her to get out. After she leaves, he turns to Mike and picks up right where he left off: "So I guess we're done then." Mike turns to leave. Then Noah, suddenly pathetic, asks Mike if he plans to visit again. Mike: "You planning on having an open casket?" Oohh, good one! Noah smirks, and Mike gives him an eighth of a smile.

At Casa de Pox, Tom's out front, putting golf balls as Carlos looks on. Carlos, incidentally, has an iPod earbud plugged into his right ear, while the left earbud just dangles at his waist, which is kind of random. Maybe he's mid-jog and his visit with Tom isn't going to be long enough to merit full removal of his sound system? Lynette comes out and greets Carlos with noticeable uncomfortable-ness, which makes perfect sense in light of Carlos's recent proposition. (Yay! Two points for Team Continuity!) Lynette is wearing what appears to be a pair of her husband's jeans, so baggy and low are they. (Two more Continuity points -- those are the exact comfy pants a mother stuck at home nursemaiding itchy kids would throw on!) Lynette hands Tom a Reuben sandwich, and even though it is possibly the saddest, flattest Reuben I have ever seen, Tom is very, very stoked: "How sweet is that? Lunch brought right to the golf course." He smiles hugely and leans over and kisses Lynette. Carlos says he hears that Lynette has "some pretty sick kids." Lynette scoffs: "Oh, it's only chicken pox, but Braveheart here [she points at Tom] will only come in to sleep and shower." Carlos: "I can't say I blame him. I wouldn't want to be shooting blanks either!" Lynette gives a confused laugh, and Carlos claps Tom on the shoulder and takes off ("Be well, my man," he says...Carlos is such a dude). Lynette asks Tom what Carlos meant by "shooting blanks." Why do I know that adult chicken pox can make a person sterile and Lynette of The Four Kids doesn't? For some reason that surprises me. In any case, Tom lets Lynette in on the secret: "There's just a small chance of sterility if a grown man gets chicken pox." Lynette remains confused: she and Tom don't plan on having any more kids, so what's the big deal? Tom says something about "survival instinct," and Lynette laughs: "So that if you're the last man to survive a nuclear holocaust, you could repopulate the planet?" Still laughing, she turns to go inside. And if only Tom had let her go! But instead he keeps talking: "God forbid something were to happen to either one of us, I'd want us to have, you know, options." Oh Tom. Lynette, no longer laughing: "'re saying that if I died, you would want a second wife? And a family?" Tom, clearly realizing he's stepped in something foul here, stops chewing his sandwich. Lynette tells him how upset she is that he's even thought about this. Tom: "Haven't you?" Lynette: "Thought about who I'd marry if you died? Hmm...NO!" Tom hastens to explain that this is just a "backup plan." He tries to explain what he means by giving her some story about a door, in a room, and how he doesn't want to use the door, regarding how very happy he is in the room, but "in case of fire or flood, it's comforting to know that the door is unlocked." Happy with the grace of his analogy, Tom takes a big bite of Reuben. Lynette grabs the sandwich out of Tom's hand and drops it onto the lawn. When Tom protests, she suggests that he have his "second wife make you lunch." Oops!

Bree and Detective Barton are at lunch, a nice place with white tablecloths and flowers. Barton, who's wearing a coat and tie, smiles hugely and tells Bree how happy he is that she called, especially considering how awkward things have been between them. Bree, uncommonly animated: "Oh, you mean your having suspected me of murdering my husband? Detective, that is all water under the bridge now." And then she takes a big swig of white wine. Bree is tipsy, maybe! She confesses that she has an "ulterior motive" for calling and inviting Barton to lunch. She tells him about the Applewrongs, how something about them is just "off." Barton explains that he can't "run a background check" on her neighbors just because they're "odd." Bree gives a not-too-disappointed little "ohh," like maybe she expected she might get this answer. Barton asks her if the Applewrongs are the only reason she asked him to lunch. Bree innocently tells him yes, that was pretty much it. Barton laughs, and then confides, "During the investigation I just thought there was kind of a...spark between us. You know, I thought this might be a date." Bree looks blindsided, but she recovers well, and regretfully informs him otherwise. Barton pretends this is fine, and tells her, "When do I ever get to have lunch with such a lovely lady anyway. Date date." By the time he makes it to the end of this sentence, he's looking glum indeed. Bree tries to push the Applewrong issue again, claiming she knows there's something wrong with them because has a "sixth sense about people." Barton: "And yet you got engaged to the man who murdered your husband." Wow, Barton sure is crabby about his Date getting demoted to date. And yet...well played. I'm glad someone finally said it!

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Desperate Housewives




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