Desperate Housewives
We're Gonna Be All Right

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Evany: B | Grade It Now!
We're Gonna Be All Right

At the hospital, a nurse okays Susan's blood pressure and tells her she's free to go. Susan is thrown. Isn't Dr. Young going to come in and [open perv-quote]examine[close perv-quote] her? The nurse explains that the good doctor only participates in the follow-up exams if something turns out to be wrong. Susan gets that "crafty imbecile" look of hers. Uh oh.

Cut to Dr. Young, who asks Susan, "You're experiencing nausea, chills, and tingling, huh?" Susan: "Yeahhhh. But now that I think about it, I bet it's just all the coffee I drink. I drink way too much coffee. Do you like to drink coffee?" Run, Dr. Young, run! Dr. Young, who doesn't like coffee, tries to steer things back to talk of tingling. Susan: "I should switch to juice. I know the best juice place, you would love it. Do you drink juice?" Ugh! But Dr. Young isn't even listening. He's reading her chart and looking very concerned. "Wow, Susan? How often have you been having these involuntary muscle spasms?" Susan hems and haws and says something about just needing a "good massage." Dr. Young grabs Susan's chin and looks deep into her eyes. She swoons, and he tells her he's going to schedule her for an MRI. Susan blusters that she doesn't think that's necessary. Dr. Young: "You a doctor?" Susan: "I got high marks in math and science..."

At the date that never was. Bree knocks back the last of a glass of wine just as the check arrives. Barton reaches for it, but Bree tsks him slurredly and tells him she's going to pay, "given the misunderstanding." Barton insists, so Bree agrees to go Dutch (like in Solvang!). Bree drops her wallet and Barton eyes her suspiciously, then offers to give her a ride home. Like a teenage girl wasted on her first go at wine coolers, Bree ham-fistedly flirts: "Detective Barton! Is this some sort of high-school ploy to get me back to your place?" Barton smiles and says he just doesn't think Bree should be driving, given how much she drank at lunch. Bree, indignant: "I had two glasses of wine." "Three," Barton corrects, "plus the tawny port with dessert." He points to the bill as evidence. Bree, nastily: "You know what? I politely rejected you, and now you're getting your revenge by embarrassing me." Still, he insists that Bree give him her keys. Bree: "I am not giving you anything, except the bill." She leans over and scoops up her money from atop the check and stomps off. So not only is Bree a drunk now, but she's a mean drunk?

Driving home, Bree hears a police car chirping its siren behind her. She looks in her rearview and sees the flashing lights, so she pulls over. Detective Barton gets out of his car and primly walks over to her. Bree gets a load of the man who pulled her over and her mouth drops open in indignation. Barton tells her she was weaving all over the road, and asks her to step out of the car. "Detective, I am not drunk, and I am not stupid," Bree slurs. Barton insists that Bree take a sobriety test. Bree yells that she's "not taking any sobriety test," but then she notices that she's attracting the notice of people walking by, so she lowers her voice. Bree: "This behavior stems from a man with very low self-esteem. The world is a big place, and I'm sure there's a woman out there who will respond to your macho posturing." Barton: "Well. Here's hoping." And with that he takes out his cuffs and puts Bree's arms behind her back. Bree looks shocked, almost as though she's never found herself in restraints before -- I guess the cuff play with Rex was pretty one-sided.

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Desperate Housewives




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