Desperate Housewives
We're Gonna Be All Right

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We're Gonna Be All Right

Oh, right, back to Susan the Waster of Medical Resources (and the Reason All Our Insurance Rates Are So, So High). A technician comes into the MRI room, takes the cover off the machine, folds it, and drapes it over a chair. A few seconds later, Susan walks in, and the tech shows her a hook on the wall and tells her to get her "stuff hung up and just get comfy" because Dr. Young is on his way.

Cut to Susan, wearing nothing but a very cute matching bra-and-panty set, desperately trying to figure how she's supposed to wear the MRI machine cover, which she clearly thinks is a robe. The technician is in his booth, watching the fun, when in walks Dr. Young: "Is she trying to put on the dust cover?" Technician: "Yep." Dr. Young: "How long were you going to let this go on?" Tech: "Juuuust a few more minutes." Dr. Young gets on the intercom and tells Susan that actually it's okay if she wears her clothes during the procedure. Susan, startled, hides herself behind the dust cover and stutters, "Oh, uh, ah...then why did you put out a gown?" Dr. Young informs her of the true nature of the "gown," and Susan's face falls. Is everybody in full cringe position yet? Well, then, get comfortable!

Clothed once more, Susan gets maneuvered into the MRI machine. Over a built-in speaker, Dr. Young tells her it's going to take about 45 minutes, and then he sympathizes that "this whole process must be troubling." Susan yells out that indeed it is. Dr. Young: "Well, we're going to get to the bottom of this. I'll be here for you, okay?" Susan smiles to herself, and then yells out that she has a "feeling that everything is going to turn out fine," and that once she knows she's okay, she'd like to take him to dinner. And she doesn't stop there! Susan: "I was thinking maybe Italian! Oh, what the heck. Maybe we can call it a date. If you like..." No response. Susan: "Dr. Ron?" Technician: "Um, he left awhile ago. He got a phone call from his girlfriend." Susan: "Oh. Okay. Thank you." And then in a small voice, she says, "I'd like to get out now." Tech: "Try not to move." Okay, everybody, now you can stop cringing.

Oh, but wait! This next scene is pretty brutal, too. Ralph and Luis are out trimming the hedges in front of the Solis house. Carlos comes out to pick up the paper, and Gabby follows closely on his heels. She greets the gardeners, then she says hello to Carlos. Carlos points out that she's speaking to him again, and she contritely tells him that she thought about what he said, and he's totally right: the nude photos are her problem, not his, and she's going to have to learn how to live with it. Carlos smiles walks into the house. Gabby goes off to the side of the veranda, rolls out her yoga mat, takes off all her clothes, and gives the sun one peach of a salute. Carlos looks up and notices Gabby's birthday suit, and he yells through the window: "What the hell are you doing?" Gabby: "I'M LIVING WITH IT!" Carlos runs outside and snaps at the gardeners to turn around. He hands Gabby her top and commands her to get dressed. Gabby: "Why? You either care that men leer at me or you don't." Huh? This really is one of Gabby's more high-concept plans. As Carlos and Gabby bicker, Ralph and Luis creep closer and closer, their hedge-trimmers still powered up so it sounds like they're still working. Gabby tells Carlos that if he doesn't help her get her pictures back, then their neighbors are going to be seeing a "lot more" of Gabby. And with that, she walks over to where the gardeners are huddled. Gabby: "Ralph, Luis? Feast your eyes!" And indeed they do. But...whoops! Ralph leans in for a closer look and saws off Luis's finger. Wow, harsh toke, dude. (Seriously, though, this scene really bummed me out. The sound of the cut itself was particularly gross.) Luis screams and screams, Ralph scrambles around and tries to find Luis's finger, and Gabby and Carlos stand there, doing nothing. The worst!

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Desperate Housewives

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