Porter comes down the stairs with Lynette's Yeats book. He says he's borrowing it for school. She tells him it's the kind of poetry that melts girls' hearts. She points out the poem her first boyfriend gave her when she was a junior in high school. He doesn't care. He's running late. Don't you get it, Lynette? He only likes you when you're SaraJ. Her mournful look tells me she gets it.

Bree's on her Bluetooth telling Katherine that they need to change tonight's menu. Because if Linda Flanigan (our radio host, I'm guessing) likes her cooking, she might give her a quote for the book jacket. She's not willing to bet the farm on haddock. She just bought 40 pounds of pork and needs Katherine to come right over.

Orson walks in as Bree's getting off the phone, and she wonders if he got her message about Linda Flanigan (coming to the party, I assume). He says he did. She asks, "Isn't it amazing?" He says, "Almost as amazing as my on-air death notice." She's shocked that he'd say this, pointing out that Linda didn't ask if she had a husband. She asked if there was a Mr. Van de Kamp. He asks if it would have killed her to mention him. She gives the coldest response I've ever heard: "And waste valuable air time? The show was about my cookbook, not about my tortured marital history." He thinks this is because he went to jail, and she's ashamed. She asks if she should be proud that he went to jail for running someone over. He says he went for her, because she said it was the only way she'd take him back. Bree's like, "And because it was the right thing to do." She says she didn't know then she'd be a public figure, but she is; she has a name now. He says it's lucky for her that it's not his. She apologizes, saying she never knows what she's saying with all of this pressure. She'll come home and cook him the pot roast later. He says, "Okay, it's just that..." And she cuts him off because she forgot chives. She's sort of a terrible person, isn't she?

Susan's listening to a message on her machine from Jackson. He's not going to be able to make dinner tonight, because his college roommate is in town and it's the only night they can get together. She wonders if his name is Mike Delfino, and if they roomed together at Liars College. He keeps talking, saying he wants to come over later. She thinks he'll drop by with potato skins on his lips, because he's a two-timing liar. MJ is standing there, wondering what's wrong. She says the answering machine lied to her. Way to confuse your child, Susan.