Desperate Housewives

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It's a Creepy Day in the Neighborhood

Previously: We flashed forward, and many things changed (Edie's married). More didn't (Susan's still indecisive, Lynette still has bad kids, Edie still thinks she's hotter than anyone else does, Bree's Martha Stewart). Also: Gale Harold was hot and in love with Susan.

Speaking of, Susan's boyfriend knows he has a lot going for him. He's romantic, has a nice smile, and is thoughtful. These seem to be things going for Susan, if you ask me, but I probably shouldn't quibble. However, as he walks out to get the paper in his white bathrobe, Mary Alice voice overs that what Jackson Braddock doesn't have going for him (other than that name, which is impossible not to trip over) is his sense of timing. He looks up and comes face to face with Mike. What comes next is sort of awesome.

Jackson: Can I help you?

Mike: I guess you could tell Susan I'm here.

Jackson: Okay. Who are you?

Mike: I'm Mike. The ex-husband.

Jackson: Ah.

Mike: I take it you're...

Jackson: Jackson. I'm uh, Susan's, uh...

Mike: Friend.

Jackson: Wow, could this be any more awkward?

Mike: Well, your robe's open, so yeah.

And also, Susan crawls out of bed and sees the two of them talking, which is about to make it even more awkward. She runs down the stairs, right past Jackson, who doesn't even get to tell her Mike's there, and straight to Mike. Are we supposed to read her passing up Jackson to go straight to Mike as a sign of her feelings for the two of them? Because I, for one, am not ready to go back to a Desperate Housewives without Gale Harold quite yet.

Susan asks Mike what's going on, and he says he's just returning MJ's video game. That really seems like something that could have waited until the next time you saw each other, unless you're trying to come up with a creative reason to spy on your ex. She's like, "So, you saw my hot boyfriend, right?" (Not her exact words.) Mike's like, "Yeah, nice legs." (Those actually are his exact words.) He said he'll have to hang out with him a little bit to check him out, which Susan finds completely unnecessary. As do I. I get that he thinks he needs to check out someone who's sleeping in the same house as his son, but is that standard operating procedure in a divorce with children? I have never heard of parents being able to check up on their ex's significant others before they can date. Then again, life is different on Wisteria Lane. They have such higher parental standards. Riiiiight.

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Desperate Housewives

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