Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: A- | Grade It Now!
It's a Creepy Day in the Neighborhood

Carlos can't believe Gaby's stunt. She says she's just trying to salvage what's left of their social lives. He needs to let it go and think about where to move. He says it's humiliating because he has to see these people at work. She says what's humiliating is being invisible -- waking up and realizing you've lost everything. Carlos is hurt: "Everything?" She says: Money, figure, social standing. Yep, that's everything. He points out that they haven't lost anything other than hanging out with unhappy snobs. She doesn't think they're unhappy, but he says she doesn't rub them. He says they're just as miserable as he was when he was rich and chasing their lives. He says they have everything: each other, a home, a job that supports them, and two little girls who love them. He's never been happier, and could only be happier if she would realize how good they have it.

Tom's reading Lynette's letter, which he says is the best "Dear John" letter ever, except for the part where she signed it "Love, Mom." Too late. She hit send as soon as he said how good it was. He's like, "What? You sent it?" She wonders why he couldn't have led with the bad news. They hear Porter's door shut, and Tom turns to run. She grabs his shirt to make him stay, and he's like, "One of us needs to live to take care of the other ones." She concedes this and lets him go. God, I love their marriage. I know some people think she emasculates him, but I actually think they both emasculate and empower each other pretty equally, or at least pretty realistically -- especially for this show. Lynette sits there horrified, but Porter just walks in and leaves her Yeats book on the desk next to her. Poor kid.

Porter's eating a sandwich in the kitchen when Lynette walks in and says, "Hey. Mind if I join you?" He ignores her. She acknowledges that what she did was unforgivable, and that she's not trying to make excuses. But then she makes an excuse: They used to talk all the time and one day it stopped, and it killed her. Yeah, Lynette, you know what probably killed Porter? Realizing he's just confessed his love to his own mother. I think he wins here, and will probably even require more therapy. She goes on to say she felt like she lost him. But when she was SaraJ, he was telling her stuff again. He snits that he wasn't telling Lynette anything. He was telling SaraJ. Which is completely true, and she knows it. She says for what it's worth she loved their conversations and is going to miss them. Then she walks out, and Porter says under his breath, "Me, too." The poor kid thought he'd found his soul mate. That's got to be devastating. It would be bad enough to find out the girl you liked was seeing someone else, but to find out that it was your mom? God, that will mess you up for life.

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Desperate Housewives




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