Desperate Housewives

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It's a Creepy Day in the Neighborhood

Lynette walks in to Porter's room and asks him if he knows what happened to Jimmy Conrado. Apparently, he got busted for dealing drugs, but Porter's like, "Who cares?" Lynette thinks Porter would care, since they're friends, and were on the same Little League team. Porter points out Little League was, "like a million years ago." Lynette leaves, but goes directly into Parker's room to find out if Porter's friends with Jimmy. Parker says he can check his Silverfizz, which is apparently this show's version of Facebook. Lynette wants Parker to tell her how to talk to Porter on Silverfizz. I'm thinking she might be planning to spy on her son. Never a good idea.

Bree. Finally we get Bree. She's showing her cookbook mockup to Andrew and Orson. It looks like an old-fashioned '40s cookbook, which I think only would sell these days as a joke. And I'm pretty sure that's not how Bree means it. Andrew loves it, though. He thinks her font is terrific. Orson is less thrilled. He doesn't like seeing her billed as Mrs. Van de Kamp. She said she formed the catering company while they were separated, so that name is how she's known. He understands she's known that way locally, but he thinks she might want to rebrand as Mrs. Hodge now that she's going national. Bree points out what we've all been thinking for years: Van de Kamp is a beautiful, musical name, and Hodge sounds like a plunger. She said at home she'll always be Mrs. Hodge, and she'll cook him his favorite pot roast. Andrew points out she has a meeting with her publicist, so she promises the pot roast tomorrow night.

Dave's staring at Mrs. McCluskey's pretty grey cat. Then Mrs. McCluskey comes in. He says she shouldn't have said what she did to Edie. She said that's what they do: They tease each other. He says it hurt Edie so much she suggested moving and he'd like her to apologize to Edie. Mrs. McCluskey, unintimidated, says no; if Edie wants to change the way the relationship works, she can tell her that herself, and he has a lot of gall coming in here like this when he doesn't even know her. He's like, "I do know you. Better than you think." Then he points out all of the things she doesn't want to hear about herself: She talks to her cat like a person, invited him in immediately because she's lonely, used to have people in her life but doesn't anymore, and people don't come around anymore. He closes by saying he knows her, and he'd think she'd like to keep the few friends she has left. She tells him to leave, and after he does, she sits with her cat and looks sad. Awww, poor Mrs. McCluskey. (Did I really just say that?)

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Desperate Housewives

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