Bree's all fancy with wavy hair for her radio interview. I don't get that. It's radio, which means you could show up looking like... well, Howard Stern, and no one would care? So, why pretty yourself up beyond how you do on a day-to-day basis? Bree asks the cookbook writer/DJ how she looks, and the Gourmet Americana host points out what I just did: We're on the radio. Bree says she's nervous because this is her first national interview, and she's a huge fan of the radio host's own cookbooks. The radio host says she'll be at Michelle's party and can't wait to see what Bree serves. Bree says she's now terrified.
They're back on the air. Orson's listening at home, eating Chinese from a box, while his wife is praised for and talks about her old-fashioned home cooking and sense of the traditional family meal. Our radio host asks if there's a "Mr. Van de Kamp." Bree says that he's passed, but she'd like to make one thing clear: His passing had nothing to do with her cooking. Both ladies laugh, and Orson breaks his chop sticks in his fingers.
Porter comes down the stairs with Lynette's Yeats book. He says he's borrowing it for school. She tells him it's the kind of poetry that melts girls' hearts. She points out the poem her first boyfriend gave her when she was a junior in high school. He doesn't care. He's running late. Don't you get it, Lynette? He only likes you when you're SaraJ. Her mournful look tells me she gets it.
Bree's on her Bluetooth telling Katherine that they need to change tonight's menu. Because if Linda Flanigan (our radio host, I'm guessing) likes her cooking, she might give her a quote for the book jacket. She's not willing to bet the farm on haddock. She just bought 40 pounds of pork and needs Katherine to come right over.
Orson walks in as Bree's getting off the phone, and she wonders if he got her message about Linda Flanigan (coming to the party, I assume). He says he did. She asks, "Isn't it amazing?" He says, "Almost as amazing as my on-air death notice." She's shocked that he'd say this, pointing out that Linda didn't ask if she had a husband. She asked if there was a Mr. Van de Kamp. He asks if it would have killed her to mention him. She gives the coldest response I've ever heard: "And waste valuable air time? The show was about my cookbook, not about my tortured marital history." He thinks this is because he went to jail, and she's ashamed. She asks if she should be proud that he went to jail for running someone over. He says he went for her, because she said it was the only way she'd take him back. Bree's like, "And because it was the right thing to do." She says she didn't know then she'd be a public figure, but she is; she has a name now. He says it's lucky for her that it's not his. She apologizes, saying she never knows what she's saying with all of this pressure. She'll come home and cook him the pot roast later. He says, "Okay, it's just that..." And she cuts him off because she forgot chives. She's sort of a terrible person, isn't she?