Susan's listening to a message on her machine from Jackson. He's not going to be able to make dinner tonight, because his college roommate is in town and it's the only night they can get together. She wonders if his name is Mike Delfino, and if they roomed together at Liars College. He keeps talking, saying he wants to come over later. She thinks he'll drop by with potato skins on his lips, because he's a two-timing liar. MJ is standing there, wondering what's wrong. She says the answering machine lied to her. Way to confuse your child, Susan.
And, just as everyone in the world other than Lynette knew would happen, Porter sends SaraJ a poem as beautiful as she is. And it's the Yeats poem that Lynette's own boyfriend sent her, The Lover Tells Of The Rose In His Heart. Lynette says, "Oh, crap on things," right as Tom walks in. He replies, "Crap on what things?" What I love about that question is that it totally misses the point. The point is the "Crap!" and the response should be, "What's wrong?" But Tom, in all of his awesome naivete, wants to know what things Lynette's "Crap!" is on. She tells him that Porter sent her "a sex poem." Tom's disgusted (as we all are). She says Porter might be in love with her. Tom wants to know why. She tells him that she didn't stop talking to Porter online, and instead told him she liked his poetry. Tom tells her that liking a teenage boy's poetry is as good as flashing a boob. Which, the visual, because she's HIS MOTHER? Ick. Ick. Ick. Tom wants to know if she'll tell Porter now or after he kills Tom and blinds himself. I am loving how literary the Scavos are this week. She says she'll break up over e-mail, and he says that will kill him. Then he writes her letter for her: "Porter, I like you, but I want to see other offspring."
Gaby's getting Carlos ready for the party. He's surprised they're still on the list now that he works at the club. She takes Carlos in through the kitchen and pretends they're not in the kitchen. Bree sees her, and tells her to keep her out of it.
Susan walks into O'Brien's and asks Mike where Jackson is. Mike says he's not there, but she doesn't believe it. She wants to know whose drink is next to him, then. He's like, "I don't know. Some guy's." Susan starts shoving stuff into the beer when a stranger walks up and asks what she's doing to his beer. Mike says he's not her husband anymore, so he doesn't have to protect her. Susan apologizes and gives the bartender money to replace the angry man's drink. Susan turns back to Mike, who says Jackson canceled on him, and he teased him for being whipped. Man, I am so not regretting Susan's decision to not be with Mike (even though it seems that it was Mike's decision; it should have been Susan's). Susan feels like a jackass. Mike doesn't know why she doesn't want them hanging out. She says the ear thing was weird. He regrets saying that, and asks if they can please hang out. It would be good for MJ to see everyone's friendly. Susan's not comfortable with them getting close. She doesn't want Jackson to see her through Mike's eyes. He asks how exactly she thinks he sees her. She talks about the last few months, how bad things got. He says they're both not those people anymore, but if she could see herself through his eyes, she'd know she has nothing to worry about. Awww. Okay, Mike, I love you again. She gives the bartender more money to buy Mike's drinks, because he's her friend. Big steps they're taking. I think Susan might actually be growing up.