Desperate Housewives

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It's a Creepy Day in the Neighborhood

Susan comes home to Jackson, who is happy to see her. She tells him she went overboard about him and Mike, and it's cool if they want to hang out. Who do you think walks out of the bathroom right this moment, with FAR too much information about what he was doing in there (any information is too much, am I right?)? That would be Lynette's first husband, Karl. He says he came over to sign some insurance papers for Julie, but got talking to "crunchy granola" (his nickname for Jackson). He adds, "Plumber to house painter in one move, Susie? Don't get dizzy climbing that social ladder. ... Just think, if I'd been a roofer, we might still be together. Sigh." (He actually says "Sigh," solidifying my love for Karl and my hope that Richard Burgi returns again and again, although with Julie off to college that seems less likely.) Karl leaves, and Jackson wonders if there are any more exes he should know about.

Gaby's hob-nobbing at the party. The ladies at her table are praising Michelle's parties, but Gaby says she loves her intimate lunches with Michelle even more. The lady invites Gaby to the charity luncheon next weekend. Bree walks up and snottily greets Gaby. Gaby's like, "The caterer! Could you get me some more wine?" Bree says she'd love to, but she wants to make sure it's the kind Gaby likes, and she jerks Gaby up by the arm and pulls her into the kitchen. Bree can't believe Gaby's still here, since food's about to be served. Gaby says it's fine, because Mrs. Bowman is home with the flu, and that's whose seat they're in. They open the door, and see Mr. Bowman with his mother hovering over Carlos. So, that plan's out. Bree says to just tell them they're at the wrong table and then slip out. But it's too late, as they're checking the guest list with the maitre d'. Bree tells Gaby to say they're at the wrong party and to leave before Mrs. Downing sees. They open again and Mrs. Downing is telling Carlos to leave. Bree says she has no more advice other than to run off into the night. Gaby looks back out and Carlos is being dragged off by security, yelling "Gaby!" She says, "Poor blind bastard. I'll meet him out front," and avoids the humiliation of walking through the crowd. Bree looks after her, horrified. Because, you know, she's been sooooo nice to her own husband, what with pretending he doesn't exist and all.

Mrs. McCluskey knocks on Edie's door, and apologizes about the crack she made about her boobs. Edie says that's nice of her, and then asks, "Are you okay?" Mrs. McCluskey says she actually isn't because her cat's been missing for two days, and he's never been out this long. Edie says she's so sorry, but is sure Toby's fine. I don't know whether Nicolette Sheridan is a good actress or her botox is just working wonders, but I honestly cannot tell if she's lying or not, she has such a good poker face here. Mrs. McCluskey asks Edie to please tell Dave she apologized. Edie doesn't understand, but guesses she could.

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Desperate Housewives

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