Back at Grandma Nutjob's, she's gone completely evil. She's on the phone with the country club telling them that Carlos touched her inappropriately during her last massage, and that type of behavior is a liability the club can't afford. Man, she is evil. Also, Frances Conroy looks different, like she developed a lazy eye or something between Six Feet Under and now? Or is it just me? Or did I just not notice it back then? Or is it something she's affecting to play Grandma Nutjob?
Mrs. McC is calling Dr. Heller, pretending she's an insurance company trying to get information on an applicant, one Dave Williams. Dr. Heller plays dumb about Creepy Dave, so Roberta gets on the phone and says she's the supervisor. He's still not buying it, and asks if she knows what she's doing is illegal. She explains that they live in Fairview and Creepy Dave is creeping everyone out. Dr. Heller's like, "You're in Fairview?" He pretends he wants to know everything before contacting the federal authorities. Roberta hangs up, and the ladies start drinking.
Andrew comes in with the tape and says he paid some bikers in beer to get it back. [Was one of them Lily Tomlin? - Z] They're going to destroy the disc, but Andrew tells them they may want to watch it. I am so disturbed by the fact that Andrew would watch this before returning it. Because... why? What reason would anyone ever have to watch either or both of their parents have sex? And that's what he thought he'd be getting when he queued it up, so ew. Andrew is disgusting. He claims he had to make sure it was the right disc, but... yeah, yeah, yeah, mom's assistant details. Bree turns around and can't watch. Orson tells her it's not them, and she turns around. It's Katherine and Mike. And Andrew would like them to know he's never eating anything that comes out of the test kitchen again. Oh, come on, Andrew! You know how well your mom cleans, don't you?
Commercials. Can Adam Sandler and his Mohawk and his man-child act and ridiculously fake voice go away now, please? And somehow adding Rob Lowe in bed just makes it worse. [Seriously, the target audience for Bedtime Stories is people who watch Brothers and Sisters? Hellboy on Inside the Actor's Studio this is not. - Zach]
Susan shows up at Jackson's place while he's painting. So, presumably that same night. I hope she called a cab. She comes in wearing a long white coat, and takes it off to reveal a sexy maid outfit without the skirt. He tells her he's kind of busy right now. She notices the paint on his face (she missed that his shirt is covered in it, apparently) and asks if he's painting again. He says not having sex for a few days kind of got his juices flowing (that's really what he said, and I'm not even going to touch it), and he needs to finish. She's so happy for him that she'd like to celebrate by having sex. She runs in to see the picture to find out how close he is to sex time. He tries to stop her, but it's too late. She sees a painting of a very serious and red-faced Susan. She tells him she's seen that look on her face before, in the mirror (as opposed to seeing it when she watches herself walk down the street, you know), when she's feeling... but she doesn't finish the thought. I think because no one really knew where to go with this. She asks how he knows about that look, and he says he knows a lot about her. He tells her that her cheeks get red when people say she's pretty, and that she gets teary when she talks about her grandfather (that makes me sad, because mine do, too), and that when she's really sad she gets that beautiful, haunted look that she tries to shake off before anyone sees it. She can't believe she thought he didn't know her. Wow, Susan was wrong about something? That never happens! They kiss, but he still needs to finish painting her hands, so he asks her to pose naked (for hands?), and she happily obliges. Offscreen, of course.