What Work Stoppage?
Pregnancy rumors have been swirling around Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria Parker, thanks to a bit of apparent weight gain. However, she assures us that she is not in the family way, and has merely packed on a few extra pounds as a result of indulging in a bit of pasta while off the set during the recently ended writers strike.
While Longoria Parker is still unlikely to appear on Celebrity Fit Club any time soon, we at Television Without Pity can relate to her need to fill the time. The recent dip in the volume of scripted programming needing to be recapped has allowed some of us to work on items that fall a little farther down our own to-do lists like watching TV while not holding a laptop; playing a videogame or two; and, in some cases, becoming acquainted with other people who live in our homes.
So with that in mind, let's speculate for a moment on what some of Longoria Parker's castmates may have been up to during their downtime.
Teri Hatcher (Susan)
Finally get that postage meter so she can more easily send her leftovers to Eva's house.
Call Howie to see if the Radio Shack gig is still open.
Felicity Huffman (Lynette)
Continue working on that "growing back from chemo" hairstyle in anticipation of when Lynette finally removes the headscarf. It's not right until it scares kids at the park.
Try to get out of promise to "catch up on Bill's work when there's time" upon realizing that includes sitting through several dozen William H. Macy-narrated Curious George cartoons.
Marcia Cross (Bree)
Learn to tell the twins apart.
Get wig cleaned.
Kyle McLachlan (Orson)
Continue working on that long letter to David Lynch; excise the "why won't you cast me anymore" and "what have I done wrong" chapters in favor of expanding "abject apology" chapter.