Carlos is lying in bed, looking over apartment listings, when Edie comes to announce her Big Baby Plan: you see, she noticed how blue he was when the pregnancy test came back negative. She picked up on that, did she? So now she thinks that they should try to have a baby, like, on purpose! There's a lot of back and forth, with Edie insisting that she, too, was disappointed to discover there was no baby on the way (which, as we'll soon discover, is a fat lie). And as far as the whole part about how Carlos doesn't really love Edie? "We like each other, right?" she rationalizes. "I mean, that's more than a lot of parents have going for them." And then she adds, "We both need to love someone; no one said it had to be each other." Her arguments actually sound pretty convincing (even though they're LIES!), and after a sad little glance at Gabby's wedding invite, Carlos agrees to the scheme. Edie squees about how very good-looking their offspring is going to be, given their combined genes (good-looking and duplicitous!), and they make plans to go at it, sans protection. How...modern?
Later that night, Susan and Gabby run into each other out on the Lane, and there's some awkward hemming and hawing until Susan breaks the ice about how disappointed Mike is about the double wedding, and how maybe it's best that they go it solo, with Mike and Susan pushing back their ceremony to Season 4? Gabby is hugely relieved. Susan is hugely relieved. And smiles, everyone, smiles! As Gabby turns to go (she has to rush off for a meet with "Francois," the flower gentleman), Susan stops to gush about how that niggling one percent, the one she mentioned in her drunken, potentially lesbianic haze? Well it has now been officially taken care of. Susan is one hundred percent on board the Mike Train, destination: Nuptopia! Gabby smiles like she's happy for Susan, but there's a shadow there, too, and it's clear that Gabby's feelings about the Mayor have plummeted down to more like the fifty percent range. Gabby to Susan, with just a hint of rue: "That must feel really great." Sad!
Post-procreative-sex-session, Carlos is cooing about how great he feels about the new baby-making strategy, even though everyone they know is probably going to "make fun" of them. Edie, adjusting her shorty-short nightie to reveal even more cleavage (which is of course a magnificent sight, and yet...still something Voldemort-ish lingers around Edie's eyes, tainting her usual gorgeotasticality). Edie, smiling cutely at Carlos: "I'm so happy we're going to be living together. It's going to be so much fun!" Carlos doesn't answer, but he does shoot her a small smile, which is something. And then Edie heads off to the bathroom, where she...what? What does that horrible woman do? She hell of pops a birth control pill, with Sneaky music playing underneath! In short, she is totally lying to Carlos! And she so doesn't want a baby! Okay, I appreciate how this is great turnaround for all those months Carlos swapped out Gabby's birth control pills for placebos. It could almost be called...irony? And yet...poor Carlos!