Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: A- | 477 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
From Zero to Proposal

The montage lands us at the Scavo family table. It's breakfast, and everyone is eating in uncomfortable silence, which older P breaks by asking Lynette if she's "mad at Daddy?" re: her silent treatment. Lynette denies it with a smile and nicely explains that "a sign of a good relationship is being comfortable in silence." Tom agrees, but then he tacks on a passive-aggressive amendment about how the kind of silence he endured from Lynette last night at the Scavoria "wasn't exactly comfortable." Lynette, while still referring to Tom in the third person, points out that maybe he didn't notice that she was busy busting her ass, carting around "twenty-pound bags of flour." And yet, has Lynette been busy carrying around flour the last five whole days? Because that's how long the silent treatment has been going on. Lynette accuses Tom of trying to pick a fight, he claims he's just trying to get her to talk to him, and Lynette gives him a big frustrated brush-off. Big P, with his eyes doing a chastened hybrid bug-roll: "Sorry I asked!" -- kind of makes the maritally challenged Sarah and Joe on Brothers and Sisters look like a couple of child-rearing geniuses, doesn't it?

And back to blissful Susan and Mike, who are clearly making a much better morning of it; Mike has his shirt all unbuttoned and he's reading the paper, and Susan is gleefully calling the flower guy to tell him that the wedding is totally back on! Same time, same date, only...different groom. She checks in with Mike, apparently not for the first time, but he's totally okay with being inserted into wedding she had planned with Ian: "I stole his bride, I guess I can poach his florist." The Stoneman, it seems, has left the building. Susan wonders what oh what she might be forgetting. "Um, guests?" Mike suggests. Susan gasps and puts in an order for another round of invites with the printer, only with an ever-so-slight typographical change. Theme-cut over to...

...Gabby, who's furrowing her brow over the task of selecting the perfect flower girl. Lynette is apparently gunning for Penny to walk the aisle, but Gabby is having none of it, based on the wee P's lack of "charisma." Ah, but Mayor McBusive has the perfect solution: his cleaning lady's daughter looks like an exact carbon copy of Gabby, only miniaturized! Mayor: "See, this way, the wedding procession starts with you as this beautiful little girl, [and] ends with you as the stunning bride that you've become." Am I the only one who finds it creepy that the flower girl is being selected purely on aesthetics? I always thought your wedding party was supposed to be a collection of all the people (and dogs) you care about most? Gabby commends him for being so "into" the wedding, telling him, "You're like a hot groom and a gay best friend all rolled into one." Contrast-cut over to...

Desperate Housewives

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