EPT time. Edie comes out of the bathroom with her piss-drenched stick, and Carlos launches into an agonizing fantasy about how glorious it's going to be when they have their baby. It's going to be a boy, of course, and they're going to paint his nursery to look like pirate's booty, and Carlos is definitely going to move in, and they're all going to be so happy together! And really anyone who can't see where this is headed deserves to have his or her television viewer's license revoked. That's right: the test is totally negative, which means the rabbit lives and Carlos is now completely not into Edie, once again. Really, the only good thing about this scene is when Edie screams at Carlos for putting the urine-soaked stick on the coffee table without using a coaster.
And for the five of you out there who are still think Tom isn't an idiot, this next scene ought to change your mind. So Tom, frustrated over Lynette's silence, invites an old college drinking buddy -- now a marriage counselor -- down to the restaurant to administer some stealthy marriage-healing therapy on Lynette. And what makes this the stupidest plan that ever was? Let me count the ways. For one thing, a couple's counselor should be totally neutral, meaning no ties to any one side -- which means no former drinking buddies allowed, Tom Dumb. Also both parties need to be fully invested in the process, which means they need to actually be aware that they're in therapy and consciously contributing. And also, you probably shouldn't conduct this highly personal conversation right in the middle of the restaurant that you own, where an employee could walk in at any moment. I mean, I get that Tom is Desperate, and he feels as though he needs to do something, anything, to get the lines of communication up and running with Lynette, but maybe a nice, quiet mini-vacation to some tropical locale might have been a better place to start. Or a simple, nice dinner out together? But instead he comes up with this booby-trap of a therapist plan? It's like he built a rocket-ship out of coffee cans and cinnamon buns and then was all, "Hop in, everybody, we're going into Deep Space!"