Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | 718 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Who's That Woman?

"Fine," KimberBree says, and sits primly next to him. "I'm staying for the show," she tells him enthusiastically. "I'm dying to see what all the fuss is about." She then turns to a passing waitress and orders a glass of the house chardonnay. Hee. She eyes the dancer in front of them, and wonders if Andrew, when fantasizing about said woman, ever wonders how she came to become a stripper: "That's someone's little girl. And that someone probably had a lot of dreams for her. Dreams that did not include a thong and a pole." Andrew insists that he isn't budging. KimberBree wonders if the stripper has had to deal with things like, say, abject poverty, drugs, or domestic violence: "Maybe even molestation. And now she treats herself like other men treat her. Like an object. A piece of meat." At this, the dude sitting next to them asks Andrew to please, for the love of God, get KimberBree out of there: "She's killing it for the rest of us." And so Andrew folds like a cheap suit, and they go. KimberBree looks very proud. As she should.

Susan's phone rings. She comes out of bathroom in a towel and listens to Mrs. Kravitz on the machine. Mrs. Kravitz's water heater burst and it's going to take six hundred dollars to fix it, she explains very...expectantly. Susan looks horrified and races to Julie's room. "We need to talk," she tells the kid. "I think I'm being blackmailed."

Down in the kitchen, Susan comes clean to Julie about the fire. "Why do I even let you out of the house?" Julie wonders. Julie, we're all wondering that very same thing. Susan suggests that she just go to police. It was an accident, so she doesn't think she'll get thrown in jail. Julie wisely points out that even if she doesn't, Karl will totally use something like ARSON to reopen custody hearings, and Julie really, really doesn't want to live with him. Susan's face softens and she hugs her child. They make similar scheming faces.

Gabrielle's. Carlos confronts Miguel on the lawn, and asks him a series of questions about the Cable Guy. Miguel's answers inadvertently make it look like Miguel is covering up for Gabrielle's affair with the Cable Guy rather than Miguel's own affair with Gabrielle. Miguel, you are a bad liar. But a lucky one. Of course, you were a total idiot on Passions, too. But remember that time the walls in your girlfriend's house started bleeding? That was cool. On the other hand, that probably should have tipped you off that something was wrong in the house. Maybe if you'd figured that out, you wouldn't have gotten trapped when that house got sucked into the depths of hell. On the other hand, that was really pretty entertaining, so it's probably for the best.

Desperate Housewives

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