Back on Wisteria Lane, it's Coffee Klatch time. The ladies listen to the audio tape of Mary Alice's psychotherapy sessions with Dr. Goldfine that KimberBree stole last week. On the tape, Mary Alice says that she had "the nightmare again." She continues, "This time I was standing in a river and I saw the girl under the water. And she kept screaming 'Angela' over and over." Dr. G. wonders what Mary Alice thinks that name represents, and Mary Alice explains that "Angela" is her real name. At this, everyone looks over at KimberBree, who nods. Her hair looks amazing. Gabrielle says that this makes no sense: she's seen Mary Alice's driver's license, and it didn't say "Angela" on it. KimberBree shrugs, and tells them that the rest of the tape is about Mary Alice's nightmare and the girl she was afraid of. Everyone stares at the tape. "So what the hell do we do now?" Gabrielle asks.
At this very moment, Creepy Paul comes out of his house and starts to water his lawn. Now, I get that these women are all "housewives," and thus not at the office during the day -- well, Susan works at home, but whatever -- but presumably Paul has a job. Does no one on Wisteria Lane ever go to work? Anyway, they all stare at him. He waves. They wave back. Susan turns back to the girls and says that she thinks it's time they show him The Note. "Are you sure? He's going to freak," says Lynette. KimberBree pipes up that it's now or never: she found out what Creepy Paul is asking for the house, and it's going to go quickly. "Can I say something? I'm glad he's moving," Gabrielle says. She thinks he's creepy. That's why we call him Creepy Paul, Gabrielle. KimberBree makes some shocked noises, and Gabrielle wonders if none of them have noticed. "He's got this dark thing going on," she says. "Something about him feels..." she trails off. "Malignant?" Lynette offers. "Yes," Gabrielle says. "We lost our gefilte," Susan says, thoughtfully. Well, that is sad. I mean, everyone likes fish. But that seems like a bit of a non sequiter. Oh, wait. Sorry. In review, she said, "We've all felt it." Everyone stares at Creepy Paul thoughtfully and sort of nods. "That being said, I do love what he's done with that lawn," KimberBree adds. The music editor throws in a Sassy Stepford Music Sting. And...scene!
Later, Susan washes her dishes and stares at Mike as he gardens in the front yard, all shirtless and sweaty. I can see, objectively, that James Denton is an attractive man. He is handsome. All his features are in the right spots. And he's got a very nice body. And yet, he does nothing for me. Nothing. I'm sorry, Denton Fans. I tried. But he's just not my type. I'll keep you informed as to any change in my loins as far as this goes, however. Anyway, Susan washes and washes one plate over and over again. Julie strolls up and tells her that the dish is probably clean. She wonders why Susan doesn't just go out there and ask Mike out on an "official date date," which is what you go on when you like like someone. Susan announces that she's playing hard to get. "How long do you think you can keep that up?" Julie cracks. "Maybe until noon. Then I can run over there and beg him to love me," Susan says. Oh, Susan. Didn't you learn anything last week, when you called him three times in one day? Of course, he still went out with you. On the other hand, that was after he saw you totally naked, lying in your shrubbery. Hmm. This entire show is throwing my entire understanding of the male/female dynamic into question. Let me see if I can sketch out the order of things: Susan almost killed Mike's dog, and then called him three times in one day to ask him to dinner. But he did see her naked, and seemed to enjoy dinner with her, probably because she didn't tell any of the other guests anything about what happens when he ejaculates. So nudity plus discretion will trump any embarrassing moments in which you act too eager. Okay. So the next time I make a fool out of myself over a boy, I can undo the damage by flashing him and then promising not to tell anyone. I'm going to write that down. Anyway, Julie tells her mother that she had better not wait until noon, and gestures toward the street: Edie, in short shorts and a white top tied above her navel, is washing her car. All gyrating butt and wet breasts. You know. Like your typical car-washing porno. "You have got to be kidding me! She washed her car yesterday!" Susan yelps.