Susan's. Mrs. Kravitz -- or, as I privately refer to her, Krav -- brings over a pie. Susan wonders why. "Do I need a motive to do something nice?" Mrs. Kravitz wonders cheerily. Susan shrugs, and waves her inside. I am actually making a pie this weekend!
"I can't wait for you to try this. It's mincemeat," Mrs. Kravitz says, as she slices the pie. She giggles. "I was just thinking of that expression, 'I'll make mincemeat out of you,'" she says. "Mincemeat used to be an entrée made of mostly chopped meat, so it was like saying, 'I'll chop you up into little bits,'" she explains. Susan looks askance. The History of Food lesson continues: today mincemeat is meat-free. And yet, people still use the expression. "I don't know that people really say that any more," Susan offers. "I do," Mrs. Kravitz sings, as she tosses away a paper towel without looking at the basket. That was an hilarious little moment. Mrs. Kravitz then announces that she has a confession. She wishes she had been more supportive when Karl left. Susan brushes this off, and swears that she's moved on. "To that nice Mike Delfino!" Mrs. Kravitz twitters. "He's quite a catch, isn't he? You like him, don't you?" Susan stutters that she just likes him as a friend. Mrs. Kravitz shakes her head. "Oh, Susan. Being coy is a strategy best employed by virgins at their first dance. For women of our age, it's just annoying. Are you sure you don't want pie?" Susan, stunned at being compared to a virgin, does not. Who turns down pie? Virgins and whores alike love pie! Mrs. Kravitz really hopes Susan can work it out with Mike. "You've been so desperate to land him." Susan denies this. Poorly. "Good lord, Susan. You burned your rival's house down. If that isn't desperate, I don't know what is," Kravitz chortles. The woman has a point. Susan hesitantly calls this "crazy." At this, Mrs. Kravitz pulls Susan's burned-up old measuring cup from her purse and gleefully announces that she found it in the ruins of Edie's house. Susan plays dumb, but Mrs. Kravitz plows ever forward, saying that she knows she wasn't there for Susan when Karl left her, but that she's here for Susan now, and this is just their little secret, and no one need ever know. "Oh, Susan," she breathes. "You don't know how good it feels to finally be able to help you." There is a beat as the ladies stare at each other. "You look so pale," Mrs. Kravitz sings, and actually force feeds Susan a bite of pie. "Did I mention it's mincemeat?" she asks. Susan gulps.