Desperate Housewives
You Could Drive A Person Crazy

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You Could Drive A Person Crazy

Paperboy Danny rolls up beside the marching Susan. Susan tries to give him the brush-off, but he reminds her that she's a month behind in payments. "My dad says that if you read something and you don't pay for it, that's stealing," he brats. Susan waves hello to Ida, who is pushing a basket full of groceries up the other side of the street. Ida kind of looks like Karl Malden (only sexier). Susan tells Danny that now is not a good time at all: "I just found my ex is dating my neighbor, and I'm really ticked off," which interests Danny not at all. "Save it," he says. "I provide you with service, and I deserve to be paid for that service." Susan stops walking, and Danny, for no particular reason, rides away. Was he done with his badgering? People who get that aggressive that quickly don't tend to give up that easily. MAVO: "Yes, the women of Wisteria Lane believed Danny Farrell to be the enemy." Danny looks back at Susan over his shoulder and yells, "Deadbeat!" Because she is nuts and has the emotional control of a seven-year-old, Susan throws her paper at the paperboy. The paper catches Danny's front tire, causing him to flip over his handlebars. Ira looks over at Susan with a shocked expression. MAVO: "[The women of Wisteria Lane] also believed the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Ida's shocked expression turns into a smile, as she gives Susan the thumbs-up. Okay, this scene feels totally off to me. For one thing, the "obnoxious boys become obnoxious men" theme is awkward because Susan's behavior is way more obnoxious than Karl's here, especially considering that she has not a leg to stand on after dating Edie's ex after Edie asked her not to. And while yes, the paperboy is obnoxious, it still doesn't justify Susan's childish pique and its resulting brutal bike accident. And finally, I'm not at all sure what this whole "enemy of my enemy" conclusion has to do with the rest of the episode, and tacking that on at the end makes the whole scene feel even more context-less. Now, if the MAVO was using Susan to demonstrate how unrewarding and repulsive shrewish behavior really is, that would be spot-on.

MAVO: flowers, lawns, happiness, etc., "these are the hallmarks of suburbia." Wow, really? Based on personal experience, I'd say suburbia is more about clove cigarettes, premature sarcasm, and overly eager law enforcement. "But if you look beneath the veneer of gracious living, you will see a battle raging -- a battle for control." We see a woman struggling with a garage-door opener, a man yelling at kids to get off his lawn, a crossing guard losing her mind and throwing her stop sign at a car. Lynette, dressed for business and looking sharp, walks over to the sink to drop off her coffee cup. The sink, however, is totally overrun with dishes. Mr. Mom Tom tells her just to stick the cup anywhere, and he'll get to it later. Lynette comments that things are "really piling up." Mom Tom tells her not to worry: he "has a system." This comes as something of a surprise to Lynette, but he explains: "I let the mess accumulate for two days, and then I clean until it's sparkling, and then the cycle starts all over again." "And why," wonders Lynette (in a semi-irritating baby voice), "have I never seen the 'sparkling' part?" Tom: "Well, because by the time you get home from work, the boys have messed everything up again." That is what Lynette would call a "flaw in the system." Tom downshifts to defensive, telling her he feels criticized. Lynette fires off a litany of "no"s, insisting that she doesn't need things to be "sparkling." Tom: "How many times did I come home to mess and I never said a word?" (Yes, but he did come home and withhold a makeout session because Lynette smelled of baby hurl.) Lynette clarifies that she thinks he's doing a terrific job: "When you came home, it was to clutter. I mean, come on." Lynette holds up a plate with a fork stuck to it. "This is more than that." A fly scuttles out onto the table and Lynette smashes it with The Wall Street Journal.

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