Felicia is back (but only long enough to pack her bags for Utah), Phyllis is gone, and Gardener John has moved on to a woman over twice his age. Finally understanding that John is a teenager, meaning he falls in and out of love every three seconds, Gabby wakes up to the fact that she's been very, very stupid with her secret thoughts of a sex-packed life in a one-bedroom apartment with John. Gabby tearfully apologizes to Carlos for stepping out on him, Carlos is much relieved to hear a sincere "sorry" coming out of Gabby, and the two share a quiet and cute moment. One of the Ps is poised for his first day of kindergarten but pouts strenuously when he discovers that Lynette can't accompany him regarding her need to work. Lynette sets up an elaborate conference-cam system that allows her to see and communicate with P remotely. Unfortunately, her Scrooge-y , boob-y boss scuttles the plan by insisting that Lynette come to a meeting. When Lynette tries to use the "nature calls" excuse to return to her computer, Booby refuses to buy it, so Lynette tips a cup of scalding coffee in her lap. Meeting adjourned! Susan discovers that Edie and her magical guitar will be accompanying daughter Julie as she sings a song in a family church event. Center-of-the-universe Susan, convinced that Edie is only paying attention to Julie to irritate Susan, gets Betty to help her polish up her rusty piano skills. Susan "plays the mom card" and Julie reluctantly picks the accompaniment of her mom over Edie's guitar stylings. When the big night arrives, though, Susan has a fit of guilt over bumping Edie, and somehow Edie ends up trying to play the piano along with Julie. Unfortunately Edie can't really play piano, so Julie's number is effectively ruined, which sucks for Julie but makes Edie look bad, which makes Susan, who is horrible, very pleased. Betty's Basement Buddy (who appears to be a somewhat normal-looking man) breaks free for five seconds before he is pistol-whipped back into submission. Bree offers to take a polygraph to clear herself of all police suspicion about her involvement in Rex's death. While her "no" response to the "did you kill your husband?" question passes with aplomb, her "no" to the "do you love George?" doesn't do so well (i.e., Bree secretly loves George, gross). With some embarrassment, Bree tells George that, due to her surprise love for him, now the police suspect the two of them of being in cahoots. Bree asks George to take the lie-detector test, too, so they can both "move on," and he passes the test with flying colors and a cheerful smile (i.e., George is a psychopath, duh).
Bree and Mommy Phyllis are at the cemetery with flowers for Rex's grave. Phyllis can't seem to remember where Rex is buried, and MAVO tells us that, over the years, Bree has become increasingly worried about Phyllis's flagging memory. We flash back to all the times Phyllis has forgotten things: the time she left pins in a dress for Bree (result: Bree got stuck); the time she forgot to tell Bree that she'd just finished painting the lawn furniture green (result: Bree ruined an outfit), and the time she forgot to tell Bree about the slipperiness of the newly waxed floor (result: Bree fell to the floor, and not because she was laughing). According to MAVO, though, Bree is always happy to remind the forgetful Phyllis when it comes to the really important things -- like when, exactly, Phyllis plans to end her visit to Wisteria Lane, a question that has plagued the entire viewing audience as well. Phyllis is offended, wondering if Bree thinks of her as a burden or something? Bree soothes Phyllis with a few "of course not"s, and Phyllis sighs and says she guesses that they're just going to have to play her departure by ear. Bree is understandably under-thrilled by the open-endedness of this solution. The two of them finally wend their way to Rex's plot and find...a gaping hole! Bree is stunned, and so is Phyllis, until she "remembers": "Maybe this has something to do with that insurance investigation?" Bree has no idea what Phyllis is talking about. Apparently, the insurance man came by the house when Bree was at the store, and he asked lots of questions. Questions stemming, I'm sure, from Phyllis's oh-so helpful tip-off about how Bree has a boyfriend. Phyllis: "He has a theory that Rex didn't die of a heart attack; he thinks he was poisoned!" MAVO: "It was in that moment Bree could finally see the truth: Her mother-in-law's memory was fine. It was her soul that was faulty." Soul? What soul? And credits!
Three little girls are sitting out on the lawn of 4347 Wisteria Lane. They are having a tea party. MAVO describes each little kid in elaborate detail, telling us what they each bring to the table (the tea, the stuffed-animal guests, the formal attire). It is, I think, the longest MAVO aside ever. Then, in one of the clunkiest transitions ever, MAVO tells us that these girls aren't the only Wisterians who have rich fantasy lives: "One of the older girls in the neighborhood was engaging in a fantasy of her own": we see Gabby gazing out her window at a shirtless Gardener John. She beckons him inside and they melt together into a puddle of sexy. But then the fantasy dissolves and we see that John is not the gardener currently tending to Gabby's hedges. Rather, a fatter, older, shirtless man is doing the honors. Confronted with the reality of her situation, Gabby's face falls.