Desperate Housewives
You'll Never Get Away From Me

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | Grade It Now!
You'll Never Get Away From Me

Cut to Gabby scuttling out to her car. Ralph the friendly not-John gardener asks if she's off to the mall again. Cringing away from his sweaty, party-ball gut, she says yes, she's going shopping. And by "shopping," Gabby means that she's off to go gaze at Gardener John as he mows someone else's lawn. MAVO: "There was nothing Gabrielle enjoyed as much as shopping. And even when she couldn't afford to take anything home, she took satisfaction at looking at the merchandise." Gabby looks at her watch -- I'm not sure why, maybe she's timing John's rate per row...

...and we transition to Susan, who is also looking at her watch. It's 6:15 and apparently Karl was supposed to have Julie back home fifteen minutes ago. Susan is very anxious and also insane. Mike, who's working on his car, watches as she paces and paces in front of her house. Finally, he walks over and tries to talk her down. Susan mutters something about a custody agreement, and how Julie needs to be back by 6. Mike wonders if maybe being fifteen minutes late isn't such a big deal? Susan: "Well, I have a court order; it's out of my hands." By now, they're marching over toward Edie's house. Mike thinks it would be nice if Susan gave Karl a bit of a grace period. Susan insists that she is being nice: she could have Karl arrested. Susan: "Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Julie spending time with Karl, he's still her dad and she loves him." The problem is Edie! Edie isn't exactly the maternal type: "I mean, who knows what passes for a kid-friendly good time in there...drugs, porn, smoking?" They get close to Edie's house, which is emanating music that sounds amazingly kid-friendly -- god-fearing even. Susan walks up to the window and peeks in on the most idyllic scene ever: Karl, Edie, and Julie are in the living room, and Julie is singing "This Little Light of Mine (I'm Going to Let It Shine)." (By the way, this song will be lodged in my mind for three solid days after the episode plays.) Edie's playing guitar, her cute pink cast propped up on the couch, and Karl is smiling and filming the whole scene. As far as porn goes, it's not really all that titillating. Mike whispers in Susan's ear, "Obviously, they saw us coming," as in they only just managed to erase the pentagram, stash the PCP, etc. Mike laughs and Susan stomps away.

Lynette is home with a bag full of school supplies, including a "really cool backpack" for Little Big P, who is poised to start kindergarten. Baby-girl P is penned up on the porch, and the two twin Ps are nowhere in sight. In fact, I don't think I've seen them this whole season. Perhaps they are hiding in Betty's basement, along with Zana and CreePaul and all the other unresolved plotlines? Little Big P is very sad to learn that Lynette isn't going to be taking him to his first day of school due to the fact that she has to work. Lynette: "Mommy's boss is a mean, mean lady, and if I miss work, I'll lose my job, and then we won't have any money to buy food." For some reason, Lynette feels comfy sharing this rather disturbing news (i.e. that the family is this close to starving), but is not willing to take this golden opportunity to teach P that sometimes there are things called "the breaks," and we have to learn to lump them and attend our first day of kindergarten escorted by our loving and entirely available fathers instead. But why teach P not to pout when you can give in with an empty promise: Lynette tells P that she's going to try to talk her boss into letting her come in late -- the very same boss whom Lynette promised (two days ago? two months?) that her children were never going to be a problem. Tom: "Wow, I don't want to rain on your parade, but he just totally manipulated you." Lynette: "Well, hey, when a kid's that good, you've got to give him his due." Lynette tosses the crumpled paper filler from the really cool backpack into the trash, which transitions to...

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

Desperate Housewives




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP