Paul and Zack get home from the dance and spill out of the car. Clearly, they had a much longer conversation than we were privy to. Paul says that he knows this is a lot to "digest" all at once, but Zack is just happy to know the truth: "One thing, though: why are you telling me all this now?" Paul says he couldn't let Zack go through life thinking he was a murderer. "Or you just didn't want me running my mouth," Zack snaps. Paul denies this, and after some staring, Zack promises that he won't tell anyone anything. "I'll keep your secret, Dad," he spits. Huh. That's interesting. Is Paul not his real dad, perchance? It sounds like it. "But we're not moving," he says. Paul says that's out of the question. Zack makes a bratty face: "Well, I'm not leaving Julie, and if you want my support that's the deal." It looks like that's going to be the deal, people.
Oh, God, fucking Lynette. I forgot about her. I was in such a happy place then. Anyway, she and Gay Matt are in bed. He's just settled in with a magazine when she starts in on him. "So, here's the thing," she says, in this schmoopy voice. "I feel really awful about how I acted before." She knows she overreacted, and she's sorry. He tells her that the way his mother chooses to live her life is none of Lynette's business. She agrees, and starts to explain why she got so upset, but gives up midway, kisses him, and rolls over to go to sleep. "Okay, get it off your chest," Gay Matt groans. In order to get the entire impact of this scene, you need to know that Lynette delivers this little performance in what is practically a baby voice, which makes me want to punch her in her bony sternum. She observes that this whole Unfaithful Father thing doesn't seem to bother Gay Matt very much, and that worries her, because if he can condone that kind of behavior, maybe that means he's more likely to do it. Gay Matt points out that he is not his father. "Of course, you're not your father," Lynette sings, and rolls over to sleep. And then rolls back to conclude -- and please don't forget the baby voice: "And just so we're absolutely clear, I am definitely not your mother. Because if you ever betray me, I will leave you. I will take the kids and I will walk out that door and you will never see any of us again!" Gay Matt just looks at her. She sighs. "Glad to get that off my chest! Thank you! I love you!" Lynette perks and goes right to sleep. Gay Matt! This is it! This is your out! Go find a woman -- any woman -- and sleep with her! Do it now!