Cut to Ryan O'Neal sitting on the curb with his bags. I suspect this was designed to be yet another moment where I am supposed to be all, "Oh, Lynette! You are so brash and sassy and real," and yet I still, yes, want to punch her in the face. Not because she kicked him out, really, mostly for past offenses. But still.

Gay Matt pulls up in the Gay Mattmobile to find his dad sitting on the curb. "I don't want to talk about it," Ryan O'Neal tells him. So Gay Matt goes inside, where Lynette is making him a scotch. "Why is my Dad sitting out on the curb?" he asks. Lynette hands him the drink and explains that Ryan O'Neal is having an affair. Can no one understand that he's suffering from a lot of psychic anguish from when Ali McGraw went and died on him? He's scared to love again, people, it's so obvious. Anyway, Gay Matt is not that surprised. Lynette says she expected a bigger reaction from him. Gay Matt tells her that his father has been spreading the love for years: "I didn't know he was still at it. I figured he was getting too old. In some strange way, I'm actually impressed." This is the point in the conversation where the majority of women would either roll their eyes or give him a dirty look. Lynette, on the other hand, simply shrieks, "Please don't tell me you're all right with this!" Gay Matt sighs and swears that he isn't: "He never should have brought that woman over here." No, he shouldn't have. Lynette makes some high-pitched noises that I believe dogs can understand, but I can't. Gay Matt finally tells her that his mother has made her peace with Ryan O'Neal's wandering johnson. Lynette doubts it. Gay Matt, clearly seeing all the signs of an impending eruption from Volcano Lynette, says that he's going to go get his father, put him in his room, and they can all just take some time to cool off. "That man is not coming back in this house," Lynette spits. Um, okay, Lynette? He's your husband's father, and you and the kids aren't in any danger from him. Later, if you guys want to put up a united front about this and not let him back in to see the grandkids who clearly adore him, that's your business, but you can't make that decision in the middle of his stay. Man, Lynette is really scared that Gay Matt is going to cheat on her; this is clearly a hot-button issue for her. Anyway, they bicker about it, and finally Gay Matt goes, "This is my house and you can't tell me what to do," and, predictably...