Desperate Housewives
Your Fault

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Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
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Your Fault

...we cut to Gay Matt sitting outside on the curb next to his father. "I say we go up there and kick the door down," Ryan O'Neal suggests. "Tell me how that works out for you," Gay Matt mutters.

As so often happens with Gabrielle's plotlines, I forget she even exists until she shows up again. She's come to see Miguel at his bachelor apartment. His roommate totally checks her out when he lets her in. Miguel whisks her away from such prying eyes and takes her into his bedroom, where she avoids his kisses and asks him what happened to college. He tells her something vague to the effect that "an opportunity has presented itself," and in order to take advantage of said opportunity, he needs to start making money. "What opportunity is more important than college?" Gabrielle asks, and I am so jaded that I thought somehow that selling drugs was going to be involved in his answer. Actually, he wants to sweep in and marry her now that Carlos is a big old jailbird. The boy actually gets down on one knee: "Mrs. Solis, will you marry me?"

Casa Teen Love. Julie is getting ready for the dance and rolling her eyes at her mother. "Please, why else would you want to chaperone the dance?" she asks. Susan explains that KimberBree really needed chaperones at the last minute. Julie is going to strain something, with all the eye-rolling. "You are so transparent," she sniffs. Susan promises that Julie won't even know she's there, "not too much." Then she moves into the whole sneaky If You Had A Problem Or If Something Was Weighing On Your Mind, You Would Tell Me, WOULDN'T YOU? section of the evening, but Julie smoothly lies that she tells her mother everything. Susan looks sad.

Casa Murder/Suicide. Zack, struggling to put on his tie, complains that Paul is "uprooting them," and then there's this whole bit of blocking wherein Paul is helping Zack tie his tie and it's all very "Paul could STRANGLE HIM," but I don't think Paul is going to kill Zack with his tie when there's a entire kitchen of gadgets right around the corner. Paul wonders if Zack ever talks to Julie about his mother, and Zack says he tells her all kinds of things. Like all the whack shit he's started to remember. Stuff from when he was little. Paul asks what, exactly, he remembers, and Zack says he remembers "lots of blood. Mom screaming. And Dana. I remember killing Dana." Well, off to the dance! Not really. Paul actually just says, "And you told this to Julie?" Zack explains that he trusts Julie. "Did she tell her mother?" Paul asks. Zack doesn't know. Paul sighs, and fiddles with the Tie Of Doom: "Start from the beginning. I want you to tell me everything you told Julie."

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Desperate Housewives

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