A lot happens this episode, but very little of it has to do with Creepy Dave, despite the developments last week. Basically, all he does is try to get Susan and MJ to go fishing with him, and then talks to the detectives, who are looking for Jackson (since he was locked in the bathroom during the fire). Then he sees Susan and Jackson together... Because they're getting married. Jackson proposes, Susan breaks down and confesses her love, and then Jackson's like, "Yeah, I need to not be deported to Canada." She feels humiliated but agrees to do it anyway, which is totally what's going to convince Creepy Dave that Jackson's his new guy to kill, I guess? I really hope not, but I can't see it ending any other way.
Meanwhile, Gaby goes without makeup to a big event because Juanita has self-esteem issues and wants to look more like her mom. Before a big photo-op, though, Gaby puts makeup on in the bathroom, totally disappointing Juanita. Gaby gives a lovely speech about how much Juanita needs to have on the inside, which Gaby didn't have as a model. It's a touching little piece of the episode that doesn't have much to do with anything else, but it was some of the best stuff. Same thing goes for Tom and Lynette. He's such a Desperate Housewife now. He wants sex with Lynette every day because she's the only thing he's passionate about. He realizes he's middle-aged and doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. It's very sweet and sad, and a Tom that I love and would like to keep around for awhile.
Finally, Bree seeks out Karl to help her take everything from Orson in the divorce. He says she'll have to lie and otherwise be a bad person, which she seems okay with. Then she goes home and Orson says he'll make her breakfast in exchange for sex, so she says "Why not?" How weird and creepy was that?
Previously: Jackson wanted a future, but Susan didn't, so he left. Bree decided to divorce Orson. Karl started sending his son, Evan, to MJ's school. Susan told Creepy Dave she was driving the night that Mike supposedly killed Creepy Dave's family. Watch your back, Susan! Mary Alice jumps right in about all of the ways there are to bargain on Wisteria Lane: An old woman (Mrs. McCluskey) offers a paper boy a generous tip if he'll throw the paper onto her porch. A wife will make her husband dinner for roses (Gaby and Carlos). Bob tells Susan he'll take in his garbage cans if she will mow her lawn. Everyone knows how to bargain, says MAVO. Everyone. Now we're at breakfast with Katherine, Mike, and MJ, who wants pancakes instead of oatmeal. Mike tells MJ that Katherine's not a short-order cook, and she made oatmeal. Katherine pipes in that if he finishes half of it, she'll make candied apples for his sleepover. Mike tells MJ to thank her, so he does and she tousles his hair and calls him a sweet thing. He then turns to Mike and asks, "Dad, are you going to marry Katherine?" Awkward! Mike avoids the question, says he doesn't know, but MJ keeps saying, "Why not?" Katherine says she's not offended, and she's okay with this line of conversation. Mike says he's late for work and will have to talk about this later. As soon as Mike's gone, MJ asks how he did. Katherine says he was great even though Mike didn't answer him, because now the issue's on the table. MAVO continues that the bargaining on Wisteria begins at sunrise, and doesn't end until someone gets exactly what they want. Katherine plops a bowl of ice cream down in front of MJ.
Divorce lawyer Walter Bergen is used to women coming to him with things like, "He's always talking to his grandmother, who died six years ago." "He spends all his money on hookers, who may or may not be women," etc. Then Bree comes in and says, "My husband is a decent man and I want to do right by him." Walter is surprised, since women who seek his services rarely take that attitude. She says she thinks of herself as a good person. He's sure she is, so he tells her not to worry about doing right by Orson. He should be fine with his half of her catering business. She's not planning on giving him half of her business, but Walter fills her in that, by law, he's entitled to half since she started it after they were married. She tells Walter that Orson's actually not that decent after all. Bree would like Walter to protect her business with some lawyer tricks. She says she likes to think of herself as a rich person even more than a good person. Hey, at least she can admit it.