Money continues to rule on Wisteria Lane, as everywhere -- although, I have to digress for a moment to talk about how very stupid I think the "official" title of this episode is. It says nothing and means nothing. Unless it's some sort of popular saying that means something I am missing. That's very likely, but still: I don't like it.
Anyway, money issues, starting with: Lynette. Scavo's is in trouble, so Lynette suggests closing it. When Tom calls a family meeting that he is late for, Lynette walks in and tells the kids this must mean he's closing it. But he comes in and announces he let all his employees go, so all of the kids can go to work as wait staff. Lynette can't believe this, but since she told him she'd support him, she does. The kids are not good at work, though, so it basically just means Tom and Lynette are doing more. And then, when a group of high school kids come in, Porter and Preston are out of there. Their reputations are at stake, after all. Kids tease them for sandals they wore once, so they will not be seen in a Scavo's apron. Apparently being arrested is okay, though. Hmmm. Strange place, that Fairview.
Gaby and Carlos find out that the bonus he told her he'd be getting just last week is not happening. Something about the economy or something. Gaby's sad because she can't buy the frivolous things she wanted. Mainly jewelry. So she goes to the jewelry shop to tell her jeweler she can't get the bracelet, when she runs into Carlos's boss, Brad, the very guy who told them there would be no bonus. She sees him kissing a blond (his wife, Maria, is brunette), and he sees her watching. Next thing we know, Carlos gets a $30,000 bonus. And then Maria's coming over to ask for advice on getting a gift for Brad, and soon enough, Brad and Maria are expecting, and want Carlos and Gaby to be the godparents. Two things: Who ever said Brad and Maria were part of this show? And how in the world did all of that happen in one episode?
Bree's money problems are quite different than most people's, as usual. Her husband is obsessed with finding out what her son makes, since everyone works for her. She won't tell Orson anything, but he eventually finds out her password and gets the bank to tell him Andrew's salary. It's twice what Orson makes, which explains all of the expensive stuff he's been buying for his new house, and the fancy new pen he bought himself. Bree tells Orson that Andrew's been doing the job for a long time, and it was just a cost-of-living raise she gave him. And she says that even though Orson used to be a dentist, he's a caterer now, and his salary is based on his expertise as a caterer. Orson pays Andrew a compliment about what a good employee he is by the end of the episode, which seems sincere -- mainly because Andrew is a good employee -- but then he steals Andrew's fancy pen. Are we supposed to believe that with his and Bree's income, Orson can't buy his own stupid pen? Sheesh. Give me a break, show.
MJ's sick when Susan starts her job back up, so she leaves MJ with Mike. Mike says he's too busy with work, but she insist he take MJ, because it's her first day. Mike agrees to, but when Susan gets home, she finds a note from Katherine, saying MJ's with her. Susan's not pleased about this, and makes that perfectly clear. MJ, however, is happy about it, and will barely let go of Katherine when it's time to leave. Susan tells Mike that, from now on, he needs to watch MJ himself, but next thing she knows, he's at Katherine's again, having a panini and making not-from-a-box brownies. When he asks Susan for provolone cheese the next day, she tells him no, that's pretentious (provolone? Really? It's about as pretentious as cheddar), so he goes to Katherine's while Susan's in the shower. He tells her his mommy said it was okay, but when Susan gets out of the shower and runs around the neighborhood in her bathrobe looking for him, it's clear she didn't. She shows up at Katherine's, and accuses her of using MJ to try to sink her claws deeper into Mike. Katherine says she's being nice to the child of the guy she's dating; that doesn't make her evil. Susan says not evil, but devious. Then she adds that MJ will be allowed at Mike's or Susan's, but not at Katherine's. Katherine says that will be tricky, since Mike's giving up his place and moving in at the first of the month.
Unless, of course, Creepy Dave's camping plans get in the way. He invites Mike and Katherine on a camping trip with him and Edie. Mike says Katherine might go if another woman is going, and Creepy Dave says Edie is. When he finally tells Edie, though, she says no way. He knew that's what she'd say, but he wants her to please not tell Katherine, or she won't go, and it's very important to Mike that she does. Edie agrees, in exchange for next weekend spent at a five-star hotel. Creepy Dave obliges, then he packs his gun for the "camping" trip. This ought to be fun.
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Previously: Dr. Heller found out Creepy Dave was in a band with Mike, so Creepy Dave killed him. Lynette was broke, because people do without pizza in a bad economy so Scavo's was not doing well. Carlos told Gaby he got his bonus, and she was thrilled. Susan got a job working at MJ's school.
Mary Alice tells us it's not hard to spot a mother who works outside of her home, because there are signs: Lynette dresses in a hurry, a couple other no-names eat breakfast in a hurry and apply makeup in the car. Susan has a sick child. I had no idea that having a sick child was a sign that you worked outside of the home. Mary Alice teaches me so much. Susan shows up at Mike's with MJ and a stuffed monkey. Mike greets them warmly, but then Susan says MJ's sick and she's late, so he has to watch MJ today. He has to work too, but she says she wins because it's her first day. Mike has to deal with Miss Nelson's septic tank at 9, but Susan points out he's a plumber so no one expects him to be on time. Susan lectures Mike about how she went back to work, so now it's time he does his part (because working all day and all night is not doing his part, apparently; now he must also do that and have time to babysit). Mike says he'll reschedule Miss Nelson, so Susan leaves. MJ's sad that she'd leave him while he's sick, but she promises to be back at 6. Mary Alice finishes that it's not hard to spot a woman who works outside the home: Just look for a woman who leaves her house (or, in this case, her husband's house across the street) looking guilty.
Mary Alice is still talking -- now about how exhausted people start coming home from work just after sundown. Some are met by pets. Some are welcomed with martinis. Others are greeted with dinner on the table. (We don't get faces with any of these.) Then there are those who return from a long day to discover unpleasant surprises. With this, we see Susan walk up to her (or Mike's? I can't tell) door, where there's a note that says, "MJ is at my house. Katherine." How extremely unpleasant that Susan now has to walk all the way to Katherine's to pick up MJ. When she gets there, Katherine invites her in warmly, but Susan is cold, cold, cold. MJ says hi to her, but then says he's feeling better because Katherine made him soup, read him a story, and showed him to play blackjack. He tells her he'll always double down on a pair of aces. Susan asks where Mike is, and Katherine explains that Miss Nelson had a plumbing emergency. Susan's all, "Uh-huh," and then tries to drag MJ out, but he runs back to give Katherine a big hug and tell her thank you. Susan tells him to stop, because he's making Katherine feel uncomfortable. Oh, speak for yourself, Susan!
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