Everyone has family trouble on Wisteria Lane, which should come as no surprise. Danielle finally brings Benjamin to visit Bree and Orson. Unfortunately, Danielle and her husband's "nutty liberal politics" irk Bree, who finds out not only that Benjamin's a vegetarian, but also that Danielle's going to home-school him. She sneaks him a hotdog (or two), and when he throws up later, Danielle's pissed. She and her family leave, and now it's Orson's turn to be mad at Bree: for ruining what might have been their only chance to have Benjamin in their lives again. Orson has somehow become the most sympathetic character this season. Gaby sells her car and buys a "piece of crap" from Andrew. He refuses to budge on the price or on fixing it or anything else, but Gaby finally gets her mojo back and at least gets him to pay for the broken radiator. She does this thanks to a talk with Susan, whom she first gets in a physical fight with (it's wacky!) because Gaby's daughter's been bullying Susan's son.
But the most important storylines involve Creepy Dave, who's manipulating everyone he comes into contact with. First there's Katherine and Mrs. McCluskey, who continue to investigate him, and even take Edie out to dinner to ask her what she really knows about her husband. They plant the seed of suspicion so that Edie puts Dave on the spot in front of everyone, asking him where he went to college. When he calls her out for it later, she blames Mrs. McCluskey for making her suspicious, and he plants the seed of Mrs. McCluskey starting to have dementia, just like his "poor grandmother." It's ominous and -- is it possible I'm concerned about the safety of Mrs. McCluskey? Naaaah.
Dave's also there to cause mischief for Tom and Lynette. Lynette wants Tom to clean their garage, which means getting rid of the equipment of all of his deferred dreams: mountain climbing, speaking German, beer brewing, and being in a band. Except that instead of getting rid of his bass, he starts a jam band in the garage with -- you guessed it: Dave! Lynette doesn't like it a bit, so she sabotages by destroying his guitar. But Dave swoops in with a replacement bass, and gives Lynette a lesson in handling her husband. It's as creepy as everything else Dave does, and especially so because Lynette listens and we close the episode with a Mary Alice voiceover that tells us Dave's the kind of bully who gets people to do things they're not even aware they're doing (and it shows Lynette presenting Tom with the guitar). I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Dave's going to cause a lot more trouble before he's through.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Jackson met Mike and MJ. Gaby's depressed because her life sucks (no money, fat kids, blind husband). Danielle took Benjamin from Bree. Creepy Dave and Mrs. McCluskey became enemies when he threatened her and then stole her cat.
Speaking of cats, we open on a cute little boy's face as Mary Alice says that Benjamin Katz was six and didn't understand a lot of things: why the woman you call "Mommy" (Bree) isn't always your mother, why the man who was always there for you (Orson) is suddenly taken away -- in handcuffs (that would be the fault of the woman you used to call "Mommy," Benjamin), or why one day you go for a ride (with Danielle) and never come back. But no one explains any of this to Benjamin, of course. Then he might turn out well-adjusted or something. And no one whose life begins on Wisteria Lane can turn out well. It's in the contract. Bree and Orson are anxiously awaiting Danielle and Benjamin's arrival. Orson tells Bree to remember to be on her best behavior. She says she doesn't require lectures on tact. He says, maybe not "require," but definitely "benefit from." Or wait, I said that. Orson just says he knows that, but they've missed Benjy so much. She says she knows what's at stake. He asks her to please keep her critical thoughts to herself, then.
Right on cue, Danielle gets out of her Prius in a horrifying outfit that can only be described as what a 65-year-old hippie might wear to visit Bollywood. Bree bites her tongue and whispers to Orson that she's starting already, and then tells Danielle her "ensemble" is "delightfully ethnic." Danielle introduces her husband, Leo, and then Orson asks Benjy if he remembers him. Benjy's not sure, and Orson's clearly dejected, but he plays tough, saying it's okay, because that's what this visit is for. Unless, of course, Bree does something to mess that up. But she'd never do that, would she? Bree and Orson tell them they've made lots of plans for Benjy, including the circus, if it's okay with his mom. He asks, "Can I go, Danielle?" Bree's upset that Benjy's not calling Danielle "Mom." She thinks it's a sign of disrespect, and she adds that she doesn't want anyone calling her Bree. Danielle snots, "Don't worry. I told him to call you 'Granny.' " Mary Alice finishes her intro: Benjamin Katz was only six, but even he could understand this would be a long weekend. Not your strongest opening monologue, Mary Alice. And credits.