Lynette is hiding her cancer from her kids, and from all her friends, and from a horrible pesky nag from the PTA, because she doesn't want people's pity or whatever. And she is hiding this awful secret under a totally unbelievable wig that she tries to improve with bobby pins stuck in at strange angles. Basically, it's like Transamerica all over again, and I don't see how it could fool anyone, but I guess it helps that all the other Wisterians are too preoccupied with their own problems to notice anything.
Gabby comes home to her house and finds Victor there, talking to his real estate agent about selling Gabby's house, seeing as they're now married and she has his 10,000-square-foot bachelor pad to skank up with her Warhol knockoffs. She pitches a minor fit, but when he asks her what she's waiting for, she forlornly says she's "not waiting for anything." Take that, Carlos. But then Victor goes in for a kiss and Gabby sidesteps him, ostensibly to take a closer look at the moving van she just spotted pulling in front of the house across the street.
The Ladies all gather to gossip and gaze at the movers as they unload the van. Susan says she wishes Edie were there to give them the dirt on the new family. Bree: "Yet another demonstration of the fundamental selfishness of suicide." The new resident gets out of her car, and Susan recognizes her: why, it's "Katherine," who used to live on the block!
The ladies all congregate inside Katherine's house, and Katherine proceeds to out-Bree Bree (there's going to be tension there for sures). Katherine has moved back to take care of her ailing auntie, and then we meet Katherine's husband, Adam (the ultra-fine Nathan Fillion, a.k.a. Mal from Firefly, holy shit!), and a daughter, Dylan. Dylan weirdly has no recollection of Susan, even though Susan tries to jog her memory by explaining that Dylan and Julie used to be best friends, and we start to get the first faint whiffs of Season 4 Mystery meat. Also, Adam is Dylan's stepfather, so there's maybe going to be another man in the mix at some point?