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Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card

DeAnn Welker: B+ | 1221 USERS: B-

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The Art of Seduction

By DeAnn Welker | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 2010.02.28

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open on Katherine's sexy dream in which we get to see as much of Julie Benz's nearly naked body as we'd ever want to (okay, I'll admit some people might want to see more). Katherine tells her therapist about it, and he says she's not ready to have feelings for anyone and needs to tell Robin to move out. When she's ready to do so, Robin gives her the good news that she got a job and opens champagne to celebrate. She spills it all over herself and winds up in her bra, re-creating Katherine's dream. Katherine steps up and tells her to leave, then follows her to her room, where they presumably have sex (we only see the before and after, but it's certainly the implication).

In a whole different world, Gaby moves in with Bob and Lee when Celia comes down with chicken pox, and she loves their fancy, nightcapping lifestyle. She goes so far as to lie to Carlos when the girls are better, saying she's sick and should stay away. Then she finds a hidden nursery at Bob and Lee's, and Bob tells her they envy her life more than she envies theirs. She heads home to be with her family. Also not a great mother? Lynette, who forgets Penny's birthday (as does Tom), and then writes "Happy Birthday, Polly" on her cake. She blames pregnancy brain, but Penny runs away and gets a hotel room. When Lynette finds her, Penny says she hates the baby until Lynette points out there will finally be more girls than boys in the house. Penny's happy and the girls stay the night in the already-paid-for hotel room, just the two of them.

In other storylines, Susan forces Roy to propose to Mrs. McCluskey, and then he realizes he wants to be with other women. When Susan finally goes to talk to Mrs. McC about it, she finds her crying. Turns out she has lung cancer. No wonder the acting's so convincing. Susan sees Roy after she finds out the news, and he says he's ready to give up women or anything else, because Mrs. McC's all that matters. The marriage is on (which means I'll probably have to stop calling her Mrs. McC). The Bolens worry after they find out Danny's in New York (will he go back to the "old neighborhood" and get caught up in their ecoterrorism or whatever stupid thing?), and they head there after him. And Bree, disappointed in Andrew's work performance, hires Joan Holloway's husband, who seems to creepily want to be Bree's new son. And he's willing to wait for her love and approval.

Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vloggers Val & Beth think DH is too over-the-top.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously: Roy told Mrs. McCluskey he loved her -- because she forced him. Robin hit on Katherine. And Carlos and Gaby bribed Ana into going to New York to keep her away from Danny. Because, get it, Danny and Ana are totally Romeo and Juliet. If they end up killing themselves in a big misunderstanding it will be, like, so tragic. Mary Alice Voices Over about Gaby's parenting skills: Basically, it's all rescuing dolls from the garbage disposal and feeding her children cereal for breakfast. Then, to show us how truly stressful it all is, Juanita wants ham with her cereal and she needs three dozen cupcakes for school TODAY. Then Carlos comes in and asks Gaby to pick up his dry cleaning. How will she ever have time to go to the spa? She's all stressed about it until Celia comes in with chicken pox and Gaby says she's never had them. Carlos kicks her out and says he'll take care of everything so she doesn't get them. Dude, she could have at least picked up the dry cleaning. MAVO finishes that the most important thing Gaby's learned as a mother is to RUN. Or "get while the getting was good." Same thing. Title card.

More MAVO, who talks about soap operas and the art of seduction. And, in a clever device, we start on a soap on a TV in Katherine's kitchen. She's cooking breakfast for Robin, who comes in all sexy in bra and underwear and a sexy, silky sheath of a robe. It gets even sexier when Robin talks about hot, hot syrup and then spills some on herself, talks about how dirty she is, then removes her robe and wipes it off her bra then licks her finger. Katherine's about to die because she's so turned on/confused. Then she wakes up from her dream, and is still watching the soap. Robin comes in (in a much less sexy robe), but Katherine's still uncomfortable.

The same soap is on in the Scavos' kitchen, where Lynette's eating cereal. Tom has a great idea for the baby's name: Patricia. But Lynette's already decided it will be named after her aunt Polly. Tom makes a parrot joke, of course. But we all know the baby will be Polly, because Lynette wears the pants. Penny comes bounding down the stairs all smiles, and wonders where her pancakes are. She always gets them on her birthday. Tom and Lynette look at each other all, "Uh-oh," then they try to pretend they had a bigger treat planned instead of admitting they forgot her birthday. Lynette tries to bullshit Penny about how she gets birthday dinner instead of breakfast now that she's eleven, but Penny's not buying it: "You forgot my birthday? Wow."