Episode Report Card
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Gay In The Water

Football field. Chloe, notepad in hand, is trying to interview Jason about the shooting. Jason says nicely that he's a little swamped right now. He's got the Coach Clipboard on him. She asks for just two seconds. Whups, there they went. Jason promises to talk to her after practice.

The cheerleaders and their milkshakes bring all the Kryptorade to the yard. They're hoping the boys will think it's better than y'all's. Jason comes on over and drinks from the teat of corruption. In a cup. The head cheerleader, Mandy, says she hopes he has someone special in his life. He scoffs and says that's really none of her business. Look, we know you have a secret; you don't have to be a dick about it. Jason drinks. Mmm, tasty. He tells her he does have somebody. Then Jason goes right back to coaching. He says they gotta protect the quarterback. He says you gotta hold the pocket and move around. Boy, howdy! Clark runs off the field near the drink table. Chloe tries to stop Clark for a short interview between plays, but Clark brushes her off. "Right. Priorities," Chloe says. She takes a cup and gets some thirst quencher herself. Mmm, minty. Clark calls, "Blue-23!" Chloe suddenly dazzles us with a big smile. "Clark!" she says lovingly.

The Torch. Chloe, carrying her books, tells a waiting Lois that she should look into the school shooting story (because apparently there's no other media outlet in America willing to cover it), and that maybe she should talk to the cheerleader/girlfriend. Lois bitches that she's trying to get out of Mayberry. Chloe happily tells Lois she can do what she wants since she's in charge now. "I'm quitting The Torch," Chloe says. Chloe says she now understands why it didn't work with Clark. With a smile on her face the whole time, she says she was always working on the stupid paper when her attention should have been focused on the Big Dumb Alien. She says that's gonna change. Chloe starts taking stuff down from the Wall of Weird. Lois tells her to stop talking crazy; Chloe can't do this because she needs the credits. Mmm, tasty selfishness. Lois asks Chloe how many anvils she's going to let Clark drop on her. It's meta and anvilicious! Chloe finally gets mad. Chloe tells Lois that now that Lana and Clark are finished, she may actually have a shot with him. "Why are you getting in my way?" Chloe asks, angrily. Lois, who is giving really exaggerated line readings this week, says she'll be covering the pom pom beat. I liked Lois when she joined the show because she seemed more like a real person than Lana, but all this mugging and faux sophistication is making me rethink all that. Lois leaves the newsroom. Chloe stews in her own juices. Mmm, juices.

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