"I'm Dexter, and I'm...not sure what I am." Yup, you guessed it. Another NA meeting. "Hi, Dexter," says everyone. "I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it. But, it's there, always, this dark passenger. And when he's driving, I feel...alive. Half-sick with the thrill, the complete wrongness. I don't fight him. I don't want to. He's all I've got." Dude, he's such a good fucking actor. Sorry, I'm just sayin'. "Nothin' else could love me, not even...especially not me. Or is that just a lie the dark passenger tells me? Because lately, there are these moments when I feel...connected...to something else. Someone. It's like the mask is slipping, and things...people...who've never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. Scares the hell out of me." The group leader guy is totally crying, and I can't blame him. What a great speech. I love how he's truly being honest, but it's still completely applicable to an addiction scenario. I mean, he is dealing with an addiction of sorts. Hottie McGee starts doing the slow clap of victory, and everyone else joins her. Dexter smiles sheepishly as the group leader enthusiastically shakes his hand. As he returns to his seat, people pat him on the back and give him high fives and shit. Hottie says, "Hello...Dexter," and then offers to lead the serenity prayer. Dexter stands up with everyone, and looks around to see Doakes standing at the back of the room. He walks up with a menacing look on his face, and says, "I knew there was something wrong with you. The secrets, the sneaking around. Now it all makes sense." Everyone else has already grabbed hands and started the prayer, sans Dexter. "A lot of cops have been where you are," Doakes continues. "The booze, the drugs. Makes the job go down easier. Stay clean and stay out of my way, we won't have a problem." Well, that was a pretty simple solution. Except, what about the shit Doakes was rambling about before, like Dexter's jujitsu and shit? Does being in NA really throw Doakes that far off his scent? Or maybe Doakes is trying to throw Dexter off his scent, so that he can observe him acting naturally, and not as if someone's tailing him. Hmm. "Oh, and you owe a new Michelin, muthafucka!" Ha! Okay, that's awesome. Doakes leaves, and Dexter looks totally blown away. The group behind him claps as they finish the prayer, and Dexter joins in, celebrating his own personal victory.
Episode Report CardMr. Stupidhead: A- | 1458 USERS: B
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