Beauty and the Beast

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 6 USERS: A-
Would You Have A Drink With You?

Deb heads home to take a nap, because one thing I've forgotten to mention is that fully half of this episode is just Deb's sleep schedule, constant updates on her circadian rhythms, how's she doing, is she sleepy, is she feeling alert, what's her sleep number. It never ends. So yeah: Deb Morgan is Sleepy. Major plotline. Dexter sends Harrison home with his sister, and of course leaves out the part where he abandoned his child and pissed off the babysitter, because that kind of thing is the opposite of doughnuts.

LaGuerta tells Angel to go to that douchebag's hospital and apologize for almost killing him. See, LaGuerta's pretty awesome but what keeps her from being totally awesome is she doesn't say, "I'd go over there? But I'd probably just blow him." You know Angel's ass would be in the car immediately. Angel whines about how almost killing a man still doesn't add up to insulting his property, and LaGuerta's like, "I know, you're a macho stereotype with a lisp, it's fine. Go do it or else." Angel goes and does it, because LaGuerta is scary.

Dexter goes back to the urchin and is flesh-crawlingly "nice" some more, but it's all for naught, because as far as Leo's concerned this is just Shutter Island II: Shutterer and nothing he says is real, not even "Try these delicious antibiotics! I see you've been keeping your open wounds in a puddle of stagnant water and I think these just might help" or "You probably have a headache due to all the synthetic opioid I've been pumping into you, how about an aspirin?"

Leo lies when he cries, and finally when he speaks he lies some more and says his name is Rachel. Since "Rachel" is a real name -- while "Lumen" is merely Easy-Reader Latin and not a name at all, just something the angel says in Angels In America right before she starts cumming lasers -- you could almost believe him. It's more believable than the other way, I mean. Either way the urchin is not being helpful.

("Look, you! The second you started doing those Stoli ads your ass was mine! I pay your fucking salary!" This sort of thing is a major reason I can never be a truly successful serial killer. Because that is no kind of argument at all.)

Dexter tries to explain himself, but guess what: It makes no sense. Dexter's like, "Okay, I know you saw me kill that guy: My bad. But that guy was already keeping you in nasty lockup and you're covered with scabs, so: Zero sum in my opinion. I can't take you to the hospital, so here are some drugs: Advantage Morgan. I can't evvvver let you go: I'll give you that point." So they're at an impasse. Leo's like, "You see the logical issue here? Like, we can't just sit here staring at each other forever. At some point something is going to happen." (Harry Morgan's all "Blah blah blah," of course, but honestly, whatever keeps James Remar on my screen is fine by me.)

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP